Flight Report: Zip It... Check It... Get Off Fast...

To those of you who may have been in Terminal B, Gate 21 at Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport Thursday morning, I’d like to apologize for standing there, publicly presenting myself in an unzipped fashion. For some reason, my jeans have this situation where they can magically unzip themselves. And thanks to the lady who, while simultaneously talking on her cell phone, gave me that unmistakable non-verbal that says, “You, sir, are extremely creepy, and standing there with your zipper fully lowered will not get you any action, especially with your wife and kids standing next to you.” Thank you for that – I got the message loud and clear!

But my Faux Pas is not what this is about. Have you noticed that the airlines have started charging you for having more than one checked bag? It used to be that you could check two bags and take a carry-on with no problem. Now, they want you to pay $25.00 for a second bag. No problem, I’ll leave my couch at home.

But as if the carry-on bag situation was not obnoxious enough already, this new rule has made otherwise honest, rule-abiding travelers push the envelope of good air-travel taste. We had just such a case on our flight to Tampa.

This was an overbooked, totally packed flight with no room for shenanigans. As luck would have it, we were in the back of the bus, so to speak, and in such cases, after arrival, you may as well sit there and read a book while people figure out how to un-ass the plane they boarded only 90 minutes earlier. This process is only exasperated when people can’t readily locate and remove their carry-on items and get off the plane. And heaven knows you have plenty of time to think about it.

So meet the remaining members of ABBA.

These people didn’t want their precious instruments to mingle with common checked luggage, so they carried-on a small orchestra along with several wardrobe changes. Oh, and then they proceeded to place said items throughout the cabin, not just above or forward of their assigned seats.

Oh, then they forgot where they put everything. Yea. Instead of just sitting down and waiting for the remain five rows to exit the plane, they attempted to swim upstream searching through random overhead bins for lost guitars and such. Pure comedy.

Hope they have a nice concert.