Though I'm not overwhelmed by bags from the US Postal service full of cards and letters from adoring fans like some kind of Willard Scott with a wish for GrandPa's 100th birthday, I do enjoy reading the hand full of e-mails I receive from people who happen upon my little space on The Web. One such writer, our Mission Trace correspondent, Sid Seidenberger, continues to read the blog, even after meeting my wife and I in person - is he a glutton for punishment or what? Possibly motivated by our weekend adventure in tiling, Sid reports that he did some yard work of his own.
He told me that he attempted to plant three impatiens he "...bought at Wal-Mart in containers inscribed "Gardening for Dummies"... I'm not kidding!", but it seems his efforts were foiled when he uncovered a gigantic nest of red wasps in the process.
Sid says, "They had covertly built a nest in the plant in a red terra cotta pot which I needed to use for one of my "Dummy Gardener" vibrant red impatiens." Red seems to be a recurrent chromatic theme out at Mission Trace.
He told me that he attempted to plant three impatiens he "...bought at Wal-Mart in containers inscribed "Gardening for Dummies"... I'm not kidding!", but it seems his efforts were foiled when he uncovered a gigantic nest of red wasps in the process.
Sid says, "They had covertly built a nest in the plant in a red terra cotta pot which I needed to use for one of my "Dummy Gardener" vibrant red impatiens." Red seems to be a recurrent chromatic theme out at Mission Trace.
He continues, "As I removed the existing plant, I instinctively recoiled when I saw this alarming swarm about my adrenalin-rushed red face. Instantly, I thought I had some killer bees after me and was facing certain death. I yelled some deadly profanities and ran as fast as I could from these abominable stealth bombers! I had unknowingly disturbed them, and they were fighting mad!"
Miraculously for Sid, not one of those little buggers bit him, and I suspect they will regret not getting in a few licks while they could. Because next stop is, where else but HEB, "to buy some product to kill 'em dead. I'll play "exterminator," armed with my aerosol spray and pray the buzzing bastards don't bite me as I try to decimate them."
We can all agree that aside from a perhaps a kick to the gems, nothing hurts more than wasp/yellow jacket stings, especially ones on the face. Sid tells me he was lucky in the first encounter, so he'll be extra careful that he doesn't wind up getting stung and becoming a swollen and numbed "dummy gardener."
"Believe me," he reports, "you won't be getting any close -up pictures of this no-good, nasty nest of dreaded red wasps from this Mission Trace correspondent!"
C'mon Sid, you know pictures work best!
We can all agree that aside from a perhaps a kick to the gems, nothing hurts more than wasp/yellow jacket stings, especially ones on the face. Sid tells me he was lucky in the first encounter, so he'll be extra careful that he doesn't wind up getting stung and becoming a swollen and numbed "dummy gardener."
"Believe me," he reports, "you won't be getting any close -up pictures of this no-good, nasty nest of dreaded red wasps from this Mission Trace correspondent!"
C'mon Sid, you know pictures work best!
"All I wanted to do is add a little color here and there, and see what happened to my efforts? I love Mother Nature, but not when she sends evil forces to invade my garden. I just knew she'd make me pay for all that rain she nuturingly bestowed upon us recently here in San Antonio."
Yea, tell me about it. Did you see my beloved pop-up awning that Mother Nature did a number on?
Sid continues, "Everything is lush and green now, so I guess I shouldn't complain about benevolent Mother Nature's cruel, biting, ... and stinging evil twin. One just has to take the good with the bad."
Sid had told me about issues with the roof on his town home. In spite of the much needed injection of greenery he says, "...that still doesn't make me feel any better about my roof leaking after the latest rainstorm we had! Bad Mother Nature! Bad girl! She boosts the spirits of landscapers with a verdant paradise, she replenishes and elevates our Edwards Aquifer levels and gives local meteorologists Bill Taylor (KENS-5), Jennifer Broome (WOAI-TV), and Steve Browne (KSAT-12). something to track and yak about ... and raises my high blood pressure!"
I know what you mean, Sid.
Sid finishes his report with these kind words; "By the way, your patio tile work looks great. I don't have the patience to do that type of thing, plus I'd probably need back surgery after its completion, or I'd uncover a nest of venomous snakes or something in the process. I would definitely have to read "Tiling for Dummies" if there is such a thing! To be quite honest, I'd be dialing for tiling experts..."
Yes sir, hard work indeed. And Mother Nature (or those aforementioned TV weather folk) lured us into quite a pickle, but it was all good for a laugh.
"I truly admire both you and Eva for your "weekend warrior" home improvements effort. You are a true HGTV couple!"
"Tile" next time...
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