Reader Report: Mission Trace Update

Though I'm not overwhelmed by bags from the US Postal service full of cards and letters from adoring fans like some kind of Willard Scott with a wish for GrandPa's 100th birthday, I do enjoy reading the hand full of e-mails I receive from people who happen upon my little space on The Web. One such writer, our Mission Trace correspondent, Sid Seidenberger, continues to read the blog, even after meeting my wife and I in person - is he a glutton for punishment or what? Possibly motivated by our weekend adventure in tiling, Sid reports that he did some yard work of his own.

He told me that he attempted to plant three impatiens he "...bought at Wal-Mart in containers inscribed "Gardening for Dummies"... I'm not kidding!", but it seems his efforts were foiled when he uncovered a gigantic nest of red wasps in the process.

Sid says, "They had covertly built a nest in the plant in a red terra cotta pot which I needed to use for one of my "Dummy Gardener" vibrant red impatiens." Red seems to be a recurrent chromatic theme out at Mission Trace.

He continues, "As I removed the existing plant, I instinctively recoiled when I saw this alarming swarm about my adrenalin-rushed red face. Instantly, I thought I had some killer bees after me and was facing certain death. I yelled some deadly profanities and ran as fast as I could from these abominable stealth bombers! I had unknowingly disturbed them, and they were fighting mad!"

Miraculously for Sid, not one of those little buggers bit him, and I suspect they will regret not getting in a few licks while they could. Because next stop is, where else but HEB, "to buy some product to kill 'em dead. I'll play "exterminator," armed with my aerosol spray and pray the buzzing bastards don't bite me as I try to decimate them."

We can all agree that aside from a perhaps a kick to the gems, nothing hurts more than wasp/yellow jacket stings, especially ones on the face. Sid tells me he was lucky in the first encounter, so he'll be extra careful that he doesn't wind up getting stung and becoming a swollen and numbed "dummy gardener."

"Believe me," he reports, "you won't be getting any close -up pictures of this no-good, nasty nest of dreaded red wasps from this Mission Trace correspondent!"

C'mon Sid, you know pictures work best!

"All I wanted to do is add a little color here and there, and see what happened to my efforts? I love Mother Nature, but not when she sends evil forces to invade my garden. I just knew she'd make me pay for all that rain she nuturingly bestowed upon us recently here in San Antonio."

Yea, tell me about it. Did you see my beloved pop-up awning that Mother Nature did a number on?

Sid continues, "Everything is lush and green now, so I guess I shouldn't complain about benevolent Mother Nature's cruel, biting, ... and stinging evil twin. One just has to take the good with the bad."

Sid had told me about issues with the roof on his town home. In spite of the much needed injection of greenery he says, "...that still doesn't make me feel any better about my roof leaking after the latest rainstorm we had! Bad Mother Nature! Bad girl! She boosts the spirits of landscapers with a verdant paradise, she replenishes and elevates our Edwards Aquifer levels and gives local meteorologists Bill Taylor (KENS-5), Jennifer Broome (WOAI-TV), and Steve Browne (KSAT-12). something to track and yak about ... and raises my high blood pressure!"

I know what you mean, Sid.

Sid finishes his report with these kind words; "By the way, your patio tile work looks great. I don't have the patience to do that type of thing, plus I'd probably need back surgery after its completion, or I'd uncover a nest of venomous snakes or something in the process. I would definitely have to read "Tiling for Dummies" if there is such a thing! To be quite honest, I'd be dialing for tiling experts..."

Yes sir, hard work indeed. And Mother Nature (or those aforementioned TV weather folk) lured us into quite a pickle, but it was all good for a laugh.

"I truly admire both you and Eva for your "weekend warrior" home improvements effort. You are a true HGTV couple!"

"Tile" next time...

Do-it-Yourselfer Tip: Don't Lay Tile in the Rain

Update: When I told my wife we should take down our pop-up awning before going to HEB Plus, she said not to bother - the rain is over. Minutes ago, we pulled into Silver Creek to near flooded streets and a steady downpour.

I knew the re-grouting we did before we left was toast, but I didn't expect the demise of my trusty pop-up picnic shelter. I guess the deluge of water coming off the roof of the house was simply too much weight.

Please bear with me for one moment as I pay tribute to a true workhorse, my big pop-up shelter. You provided a needed respite from the sun during many an outing, including trips to Garner Stater Park, garage sales, and occasionally to shade me from the sun while working on a car. You folded up into a compact size and fit nicely into your canvas container, suitable for easy storage or conveniently placed in the back of my van for travel. You did your part to make tiling our patio more comfortable an experience, and you paid the ultimate price: collapsed structure, the result of an unrelenting and unexpected rainstorm - quite possibly of Biblical proportions.

Here is to sunnier days. Goodbye old $89.00 freind. You were a bargain when we bought you at Academy about seven years ago, and you will surely be missed.

Tile Update: Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain...

We got up and got out onto the back porch before 7AM this morning, hoping to beat the sun that would surely be pounding on our backs as we finished with the tile. By most accounts, doing the grout is the easy part of the whole process. Sure, it's a messy business, but other than watching my wife crawl around on her hands and knees with a grout sponge, I didn't think I'd have to get involved.

Important Note: If you go with a 1/8 inch grout line, you have to use a grout tool to get all the excess thin-set from in between so you will have some space to put the grout. I did not realize this when I insisted that we go with a 1/8 inch grout line instead of a normal sized gap. Hmmm. Quite a dilemma.

So, there I was on my butt (my knees are shot and crawling on them is a NO-GO), with a grout tool trying to stay several rows ahead of my wife and she did the easy part.

Things were going quite smoothly, considering that we were both rather sore from yesterday's tile laying. With only a few breaks for coffee and to mix more grout, we were well within reach of finishing before the sun and the heat would come for us.

After doing the sponge-off to get most of the leftover grout, we thought it would be a perfect time to go do our Sunday HEB Plus ritual, then come home and bust out the mop and finish things up.

As my wife was doing some last minute touch-ups, I ran upstairs to take a shower and get ready. When I got out, I was surprised to hear what sounded just like rain, but there was no possibility of that since I could see through the light in the windows that it was already sunny. On top of that, if it really were raining, surely my wife would be screaming up a storm (no pun intended).

Intrigued, I thought perhaps I should investigate further, like actually looking through the curtains and out the window. Yep, full sun. And yep, that sound was rain!

I ran downstairs to find my wife sitting happily in front of the computer playing Solitaire while our freshly grouted tile was getting a nice soaking. I yelled, "It's raining!" to which she promptly responded, "Yeah. Right." and continued with her game of solitaire.

In the process of grabbing the electric fan (still plugged in and running), my new drill and circular saw (both very much soaked), and a boom box (still blasting Jack-FM), I got completely drenched.

And then the rain stopped.

Busy Saturday Report: Tile

We got up this morning thinking it might rain but decided to take a chance on a sunny day, and we were right. My wife doing the brunt of the work, we tiled our back patio. Tomorrow, we'll finish the grout and clean things up.

Looks pretty good for amateurs.

Having bathed and removed most of the thin-set from our nails, we are off in search of some vittles.

What did you do with your Saturday?