Dave

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Friday, September 4, 2009

A Few Important Notes for Friday...

I found myself running into a Valero over off of I-10 near the Medical Center this afternoon and I saw something that didn't quite seem right.It was at this particular store. Sorry, I would have recorded the full incident in great detail, but I could not whip out my camera as I had my wallet open in my hand when I saw the incident in question.

You know how they have those Thermos-like coffee dispensers in the various convenience stores so they can avoid having you pour a huge mess directly from the carafe? These are not pictures of the actual dispenser in question, but rather pictures of one I own. I had to make sure you fully understood what I was talking about.

Anyway, the way we use ours is, we make a pot of coffee, then lift the top and fill the Thermos dispenser directly from the fresh pot of coffee, and it keeps the coffee nice and hot for quite a while.
I witnessed a worker at the store lift up the top of the dispenser and pour the coffee that he had in a Styrofoam cup into the Thermos. This is simply my recreation of the event, not the actual event in question. Pretend that the red coffee cup is really a Styrofoam cup.

WTH? Does that seem right? Do you suppose they were just being frugal and making one cup of coffee at a time to refill the Thermos, or did the guy simply attempt to be even more frugal and pour his leftover coffee into the thing. Surely someone works at a Corner Store and can let the rest of us know what is going on. Leave a comment, won't you?

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So my wife and I had to run to Lowe's this afternoon to purchase a few items. I had gone outside to load the truck and waited for her to work out a few refund issues with the staff (they are such good folks at Lowe's).
Anyway, I was sitting in my truck waiting when I witnessed this guy hock a huge loogey on the ground next to his own vehicle.

Dude, I couldn't even hold that much spit in my mouth if I tried! And just look at how frothy and foamy it is. I almost thought the guy might have rabies. People spit all the time but that was awesome in its volume and truly disgusting in its consistency; I thought I was at some sort of porn movie or something.

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The other day I was looking at Evil Twin Wife's blog and the lady truly does love to look at Fart movies on YouTube. I found myself almost an hour later with tears streaming down my cheeks, laughing like a 40 year-old at different videos people have uploaded where they pretend to fart in public places just to film the reactions of people. One such series is from a guy who sells a product called The Pooter. The Pooter is a little toy that allows you to make fake farts.

So today, my Pooter arrived in the mail and I have to be honest, as they warn in the instructions, it takes a lot of practice. Let's just say, I may have to take another brief hiatus.



Only about three hours into it, my wife is pretty much ready to have it mysteriously disappear.

5 comments:

Rich said...

I must say I was almost grossed out about the coffee ordeal, that is until I saw the loogie. Then I was really grossed out. But I must compliment you on your Pooter. A good investment. I have an electronic keychain version which works quite well.

Jeff said...

Hang in there, Dave. Once you master the Pooter, you'll wonder how you ever lived without one!

Helpful hint: a "clammy" thumb heel vastly improves the air seal around the Pooter's orifice. I exhale on my thumb heel before using my Pooter and the results are excellent.

Fart on, comrade!

Albatross said...

That loogie gives me the chills. What, was he sucking on some heavy whipping cream before he felt the need to expectorate? He could have at least waited until he got to a trash can.

Yecch.

Anonymous said...

Eva say :)

The pooter thing seems like you bought a box of rocks because you can't even work it right but once you get this right ...Know that I WILL be doing a body check before we leave the house :). Thank Evil Twin for the annoying toy. Remind me to give your guy a whistle :)

Anonymous said...

That's actually NOT a Corner Store...it's an independently owned "jobber" store....not that you wouldn't see scary things at a Corner Store but I am just sayin'...God or Allah only knows what he was doing.

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San Antonio, TX, United States
I love to observe the odd things happening around me as I go about my day. I especially like it when I can get a picture of people being themselves. Here, I attempt to report the various people and events I have encountered in my neighborhood, and my city. I'd also love to hear from you. Feel free to e-mail your experiences and photos of life in San Antonio.

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