Breakfast Report: Garden State Diner...

On Sunday morning we decided to eat at my daughter's favorite breakfast place, the Garden State Diner at Tilghmans Corner in Wrightstown, NJ. We were in for a treat, both in the food and the entertainment from a little boy seated at the table next to ours.If your only exposure to the state of New Jersey is through the stereotypical portrayal of mullet-haired city boys saying "How you doin'", then you would most likely be listening for certain accents and sayings. In reality, I've been to northern Jersey and now here in Wrightstown, and have yet to find something or someone typical of what you'd think of as New Jersey based on the stuff you see on TV. We did get a "What would you'se like?" from our waitress, so that was enjoyable. Aside from that, we may as well have been in flyover country.The Diner seems pretty typical of older family style restaurants in appearance. I'm guessing this place looked the same a decade ago - or even a few decades ago. If it is good enough for the Rotarian's, I'll give it a try.We showed up hungry, and it's a good thing; no such thing as small portions at the Diner. I ordered a plate of pancakes, eggs and sausage links. The pancakes were fluffy and huge. The sausage was an unexpected surprise. The links were not the type you find at Denny's or IHOP; these were large and really, really good. My wife got a waffle with strawberries which were fresh and tasty. She ordered a side of bacon expecting to get two pieces. Instead, she got a plate full which I was happy to assist her with.My son-in-law ordered up a huge omelet with hash browns. You won't go hungry here.

As we all worked on our massive platters of food, a family settled in at the table next to ours. There was an older kid, possibly 18 or so, a mother and father, a little kid maybe 3 or 4 who made not a peep, a little girl who was also quiet and then there was Andrew.

I have on occasion felt like I was being set-up for one of these prank shows - you know, Candid Camera, Punk'd or Howie-do it - where people in a seemingly normal environment are suddenly exposed to something bizarre. The focus is less on the out of normal character but on the reactions to the people being tricked. What drew all of our attention to Andrew, this kid who appeared to be 7 or 8, was a loud and clear, "What the Fuhhh?" I looked directly at the mother just waiting for the beating to commence, but nothing. It was as though he had said please or thank you, because she had no reaction at all. Everyone at our table sort of looked at one another with nervous smiles. Perhaps it was the 18 year-old who had thrown his voice.

A waiter was taking their order and had not even made his way around the table to get everyone's order when little Andrew pipes up with "Where is my apple juice?" The mother looks at him and tells him the waiter hasn't finished taking the order yet, to which Andrew responds, "This waiter is too slow." then immediately starts chanting "Hurry-up, hurry-up, hurry-up." Reaction from the parents? Not a thing. I fully expected the father to reach across the table and strangle the kid, but he never even moved. I suspect he was a deaf mute (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Oh, and speaking of the father. Andrew was coloring on one of the little kids meal worksheets they give out to keep little brats occupied when apparently, he somehow colored out of the lines. He looked directly at his father sitting across the table from him and yells, "Look what you did; it's all your fault!" He then crumpled the paper and threw it on the floor. The mother calmly got up and picked up the paper and tries to straighten it out. Andrew then grabs it from her hands, and rips the paper in shreds and yells, "You're not the boss of me, old lady." My wife instantly began reaching for her chankla out of motherly instinct. I immediately started looking for the Candid Camera. Andrew's mother quickly responded to the situation by saying, "I am not an old lady."

Just beautiful.For fine food, huge portions and extremely enjoyable entertainment, The Diner in Wrightstown is a Tasty Treat. I can't wait to try it again, just to see who sits next to us.