Lunch Report: Goomba's on Bandera...

Perhaps I was taking a nap when E-Z's on Bandera closed shop and Goomba's moved in. Then again, I had not been to E-Z's in roughly three or four years, so it wouldn't be much of a trick to slip one by me. At any rate, my wife and I went down a long list of places we should eat lunch at this afternoon, but all seemed to be too far to drive in the sudden rain (that has since stopped).We made a half-hearted effort at driving toward Fatso's Sports Garden for a burger when the Goomba's sign caught my eye. My thought was, if all else failed, I could get a slice of pizza.From the minute we walked in, I started having doubts. First, and sorry, I don't have pictures or an audio tape to fully deliver the experience of it, there was a family using an entire half of the place for a kids birthday party. What, Chuck E. Cheese was closed on a Saturday? Second, when I looked at the appearance place, it looked like someone had walked into E-Z's, glued some fake bricks on the walls and stapled up a bunch of Soprano's posters.We grabbed menus and I sort of stared at mine for a while hoping something would jump out at me. Right away, my wife knew she would be getting a calzone, but I had my standard internal debate with myself over a sandwich (and if so, should I get a cold one or a hot one), or wings (and if so, should I get an order of 10 or 20, hot or bbq) or maybe pizza (and if so, should I get just a slice or order the whole thing) and so on. This is what it is like to be me in a restaurant I have not become familiar with.

My wife actually suggested that we leave and go someplace else since I couldn't come to a quick decision, and that was why I quickly stepped up to the counter and ordered the Sausage Parm. Only then, I couldn't decide on the half or full. As I decided, my wife ordered her calzone with sausage and pepperoni. I did ask the girl taking our order the difference in the half or full size subs and she made some fairly quick hand gestures to represent 6" and 12", though her 12" calculation seemed might short compared to what I got.I should have realized how big it was when I saw a pizza going into the oven. Huge!We took a booth as far away from the birthday party as possible, but I'm afraid that the power of infants screaming and kids on those little roller shoe things zooming by us to go to the game room didn't make it any better. Granted, they have a soundtrack going on over the speakers with lots of Frank Sinatra and various Italian Opera standards to drown things out, but to be very honest, I could have easily just gotten up and walked away without even getting our food. Instead, considering they make your order from scratch, it came fairly quickly.

And of course, you can't blame the restaurant for having people create an instant party at their place; and you can't blame the kids for thinking that this was a place they could scream and run around in, after all, all the kid wanted for his birthday was some tokens and two hours in the Chuck E. Cheese that is exactly one exit west on Loop 410.When my sausage parm sub came out, I couldn't believe it. It looked huge, smelled good and right away, from the first bite until the last, it was hot and delicious and gooey in the parts that were supposed to be gooey. I'm not kidding when I say, get the half order unless you are a glutton for punishment, or just a glutton, for that matter. It was so good that, in spite of the ringing in my ears brought on by the high pitched wailing of some kid possibly teething or perhaps having his genitals pierced, I was nearly lulled into unconsciousness by the continuous flow of beautiful sausage, delicious bread and spicy grilled onions and peppers flowing too my oh so waiting tummy. I need a nap just thinking about it.Meanwhile, my wife went to town on a meat calzone that was easily enough to feed us both. The first thing she noticed was that it was cooked completely through. Sometimes people try to make a calzone and in an effort not to burn the outside, the inside is not fully cooked. Not a problem with that here. Inside, the cheesy goodness was all gooey and melted well with the sausage and pepperoni. In fact, as we were leaving, she made it a point to tell the cook that it was the best calzone she has had in San Antonio.

I would like to tell you that we each picked at our food and asked for a large box to bring the left over contents home, perhaps to heat up at a later date and enjoy a second time around. I'd also like to tell you that I can fit into the slacks I wore when I was a senior in high school, but we both know that ain't about to happen. It was simply too good. Remember that guy in the old Alka Seltzer commercial - he couldn't believe he ate the whole thing? Well believe it.

I'm not really impressed with the inside of the restaraunt and I can't say that everything was perfect - but what place is? Get it to go.The bottomline is, we were extremely pleased with our orders and the service was fast and the vittles were good. That friends warrants a Tasty Treat for Goomba's.