Dave

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

TV Report: The Cleto Rodriguez Show...

Those of you not living in San Antonio are automatically excluded from the chance to set your DVR's for the local Fox station, 11:30PM, Sunday nights. The rest of you, go ahead, do your San Antonio duty and record The Cleto Show. Not because you will want to watch it, but because I'm sure it will somehow turn into a localized drinking game. And you wouldn't want to miss that.

I think it was last Friday when I was driving to work and had the radio tuned into the Big 99, listening to John Lisle get really upset during an interview with Cleto and his sidekick Jesus (really Tommy, but the show required him to use the name Jesus). Cleto and Jesus were talking up the big new show with lots of giggles and forced belly laughs as Lisle tried to ask some serious question about whether or not Eva Longoria Parker was somehow actually involved in the venture. They seemed squeamish in their response. But, as we found out last night, in the same way actress Sandra Bullock took on the benefactor role for the George Lopez Show, Tony Parker's wife has added her name to Cleto as Executive Producer. It must be nice to have disposable income.

We want so much to love, no, even like this show. It is based on life in San Antonio and of course, lots of local shots of the city. They even were able to slip in a reference to the much hated, but appropriate reference to our city, Fat Antonio.

Oh, did I mention that Cleto is a man of my size - meaning he could stand to lose 50 pounds if he knew what was good for him - and his cohort Jesus (played by Tommy) is clearly, morbidly obese. This isn't a slam on fat people, it really is typical of San Antonio and I liked that about the show.

The show has these two guys discussing the concept for the Cleto Show with some slender Hollywood type. He tells them they both need to lose some weight. So for the next few minutes, we see YouTube quality video of two fat guys trying to do pull-ups, run, and stretch. Oh, and we even have a flashback scene to school when the young Cleto, a portly 5th grader or so, is taunted by his coach to do a single chin-up. He can't (of course, the little kid weighs-in at an easy buck-fifty in the 5th grade) and the kids around him laugh. All the kids except of course his, back then, tall and slender friend Jesus (played by Tommy).

The show goes into a commercial break and for no apparent reason or any relation to the episode, comes back in a brief concert by Los Lobos performing in Austin. WTF? No, really; WTF?

Next, we find Cleto on stage at a comedy club attempting one liners. When he looks into the crowd, there is no crowd. Instead, he is heckled by an old lady calling him Panson. He tries to tell another joke and some other lady heckles him. After a third joke, it is his gym coach heckling him.

We then are taken back to the playground where Jesus (played by Tommy) whispers in his ear "Confidence". Well let me just point out that, though not a sponsor for the show, Cavender Cadillac got a good free plug. Anyone in San Antonio knows that the Cavender family uses Cavender is Confidence as their tag line, and honestly, I kept expecting Billy Cavender with his big handlebar mustache to show-up in an Escalade. Instead, Jesus (played by Tommy) whispered "Confidence" as he helped Cleto hoist himself up for a complete chin-up.

Next thing you know, Cleto is out at Woodlawn Lake running laps and jumping over people who all give him the thumbs up and shout, "We love your show Cleto." Aside from the time travel problem, the whole thing is just creepy. Let's hope all of those people were relatives, and none of them were paid. Otherwise, Mrs Parker might need to see receipts.

At the end of Cleto's big run around the lake, he ends up on top of some famous hill in San Antonio (the street name escapes me) where we see a really nice view of the city skyline. It is nice. Jesus (played by Tommy) drapes a City of San Antonio flag (yes, we do have an official flag for the City of San Antonio) and in Rocky Balboa style, Cleto raises his sweaty arms in victory.

In the following scene, Cleto and Jesus (you know, Tommy) are back in the office of the Hollywood slim guy and Cleto demands to do the show on his terms and chides him never to call San Antonio "Fat Antonio" again.

And of course, the final scene has Cleto and Tommy (or was it Jesus) stuffing their fat faces with beautiful enchiladas, tacos, rice and beans from La Fonda.

Okay, the last scene made me hungry. Aside from that, the show has no redeeming qualities at all.

In the same way that Seinfeld (hmmm, and why does Seinfeld seem so familiar?) shows outdoor scenes of NYC between scenes, Cleto shows various shots of the River Walk and the downtown area. Only apparently, Mrs. Parker only sprung for the home video version, because they look really cheesy and low quality. Honestly, could we have not purchased some stock footage from the NBA? Whenever there is a national Spurs game on TV, they have really awesome quality shots of the city and the river walk.

I plan to continue taping the show in hopes that within a few weeks, I can write a follow-up telling you that the show has gotten better. But in a way, I can now appreciate why John Lisle was so upset with these two jackasses. He had seen the Pilot and knew just how bad it really was. Hopefully, it will transform into a talk show and not the little skit we saw Sunday night.

Did you see it? Are you Cleto, Googling for reviews? Tell me what you thought of the show or leave a comment here.

5 comments:

Albatross said...

It may surprise some people, but actually the flag of San Antonio looks pretty cool. Someday I need to get one and fly it on my flagpole.

Ricardo Montalban said...

I just love The Cleto Show. I'm not a beer drinking buffoon either, and I love the show. I actually heard the Lisle and Hahn interview thanks to Cleto and Tommy's twitter page and all of the guys on the radio sounded like they had a blast from start to finish. They were on the radio show for over an hour. Do you really think that John Lisle would keep a guest on his show for over an HOUR if the guest was making John, "...really upset." Cleto and Tommy are really trying to make something good for this city and all you do is defaecate all over it. Well, have fun drinking beer in you bath tub out side the house, now that's puro basura blanca. I hope you and your 20, wow that's all only 20 friends on Facebook. Wow, Hitler has more friends then you and he's Hitler! Keep up the GREAT work! Don't forget to DVR the show tonight. BTW your sounding like a big hater. Oh a Hater is: A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Dave said...

Ricardo, What are you, 14?

Seriously, there is no hating here at all. I hope the Cleto Show does well - in fact, I DO have my DVR set and intend to watch it again and again in hopes that it gets better. I would like nothing better than to have the show go national and become a big hit not only for Cleto and Jesus, but for us folks in San Anto.

Now please, take a step back and be really honest. You cannot tell me that you thought that the first episode of the Cleto Show was worthy of national TV, right? Be honest.

All I was pointing out was that, it sucked. I wish them the best. As do I suspect, John Lisle and the folks at KISS, otherwise, they would not have given them an hour.

By the way, thanks for checking out my Facebook page. You have probably hit it more times than I have. If I have 20 friends (and I'm not so sure that I do), I suspect they are somehow related to me and required by law to befriend me.

Cheers.

Ricardo Montalban said...

Point 1: If you want those guys to succeed, as you stated, then zip your lip to the nonsense you blab about. Nothing good comes out of lies and deconstructive criticism.

Point 2: I can say this with all my knowledge in the entertainment industry, which is over 20 years. Most if not all of the new LOCAL TV shows aren't ready for national viewers. It takes time for a fan base to grow and fallow a show.

Point 3: It was OVER an hour they spent on 99.5 KISS's morning show and I know this because I have a very close friend of mine who works at the COX building and they gave me the link to the PODCAST you ass face. Just go back and listen to the PODCAST and then judge. Oh yeah Lisle played two minutes of The Cleto Show's promos on air. If he hated them why would he do that? By the way according to the PODCAST Lisle and Hahn said they really liked the guys being in studio. So, try to read into that.

Point 4: The only reason I bring up your Facebook page is because you have a link to it on this same page. If your all knowing and all mighty blog has so many hits and readers you would think you would have more friends on Facebook. So, I guess I'm the only one who reads and gives a crap about your blog. That's just sad.

Finally, what have you done? Other than post a blog with lies and misinformation. Here's some advise, stop being a hater and start being a real connoisseur of comedy and TV. Never mind that, why don't you just stick to posting lack luster criticisms of lame fish places. Wow, I live by Doc Burke Elementary, is that close to you?

Dave said...

Point 1: If you want those guys to succeed, as you stated, then zip your lip to the nonsense you blab about. Nothing good comes out of lies and deconstructive criticism.You simply must be somehow affiliated with the show. Jesus, is this you?

Point 2: I can say this with all my knowledge in the entertainment industry, which is over 20 years. Most if not all of the new LOCAL TV shows aren't ready for national viewers. It takes time for a fan base to grow and fallow a show.If you are in the entertainment industry, then no wonder most of the stuff on TV these days is crap. Also, I stand corrected; the first episode of the Cleto Show was not only not ready for national TV, it wasn't ready for public access on the cable. Seriously, are you sure this isn't Eva Longoria Parker?


Point 3: It was OVER an hour they spent on 99.5 KISS's morning show and I know this because I have a very close friend of mine who works at the COX building and they gave me the link to the PODCAST you ass face. Just go back and listen to the PODCAST and then judge. Oh yeah Lisle played two minutes of The Cleto Show's promos on air. If he hated them why would he do that? By the way according to the PODCAST Lisle and Hahn said they really liked the guys being in studio. So, try to read into that.I listened to a small segment of the KISS broadcast, and the part I heard was as I described. Lisle sounded perturbed because you and Tommy wouldn't answer the straight question about Eva. Right Cleto?

Point 4: The only reason I bring up your Facebook page is because you have a link to it on this same page. If your all knowing and all mighty blog has so many hits and readers you would think you would have more friends on Facebook. So, I guess I'm the only one who reads and gives a crap about your blog. That's just sad.I also have a link to The Cleto Show on my page, and a link to lots of other San Antonio related things. I'd love to have a point by point dismantling of each of these links; readers comments like yours are important to me since I obviously don't have any friends on Facebook.

Finally, what have you done? Other than post a blog with lies and misinformation. Here's some advise, stop being a hater and start being a real connoisseur of comedy and TV. Never mind that, why don't you just stick to posting lack luster criticisms of lame fish places.Lies and misinformation? Because you don't agree with my opinion of a TV show, it is all lies and information. Nice.

Wow, I live by Doc Burke Elementary, is that close to you?Why yes, yes it is. Would you like to be my friend on Facebook?

About Your Host

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San Antonio, TX, United States
I love to observe the odd things happening around me as I go about my day. I especially like it when I can get a picture of people being themselves. Here, I attempt to report the various people and events I have encountered in my neighborhood, and my city. I'd also love to hear from you. Feel free to e-mail your experiences and photos of life in San Antonio.

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