Crappy Service Report: US Postal Service...

Look, I know first hand that when you are doing something on a massive scale like shipping hundreds of thousands of pieces of mail and packages every single day, something bad can happen and it really isn't that someone intended to do a bad job. Sometimes, shit happens. Or sh*t happens if you are offended by such foul language.

So when the post office got in a wreck and burnt up some of my mail, frankly, I was pretty pleased that they stuck it all in a pouch and sent it to me (still wet from the fire hose) with a letter of explaination and an apology.

But let's face it, we don't pay 11 cents for postage anymore. In fact, while my daughter was here in town last month, she spent quite a pretty penny to ship two boxes of stuff back to New Jersey, utilizing the services of the US Postal Service.

The boxes were both fairly heavy which she paid close to $70.00 for, to be shipped at the parcel rate (or as we call it, slow boat to China). Yea, for that price, she went ahead and added the little feature where you can get on the internet and track the status of the boxes, but when the lady at the counter asked about insurance, I just shrugged my shoulders and said no. I figured, and this is me using my Lottery playing brain to think, what are the chances that the USPS could catch my mail on fire more than once? Hey, I quit playing the Lotto right after my big $120 win on the notion that that bolt of lighting ain't gonna strike twice, and look how much money I've saved since then.

So, here's the deal. One of the boxes contained a sewing machine my wife bought about the time my daughter was born when we lived in Italy. So, we have had this thing for 20 years, but it is a lot better quality than what you are going to get at Wal Mart or wherever for the cost to send it.

When she got back to Sopranoland, she dutifully tracked the packages but the strangest thing happened when she got the first box. It would appear as though somebody dropped it off a moving truck, busted all the crap inside, then simply taped the contents back together and sent it on its way. Funny, that little side trip didn't show up on the tracking log on the USPS tracking page on the Internet.So, needless to say, my daughter was pretty upset about the whole thing. She went to the post office, taking the pile of broken pieces and box as evidence but the people simply did as I did when asked about insurance - shrugged their shoulders. Live and learn.

Next time, I'm going with FedEx. You can burn my junk mail up and spend Lord knows how much money to send it to me still smoldering with with a bucket of water and ashes falling onto my slacks when I open it, but you can't track who the star performer was who chucked the box like it was jump shot with 4 tenths of a second left in the game? C'mon, people!

At least pay us back for the $1.75 we spent for the tracking service. Bastards.

Trip Report: Back in The Five-Oh...

And just like magic, my little trip on the plane is over and we are all back in San Antonio without incident.

I'll have a few more reports regarding our excellent visit with my family in Brandon; turns out we have to eat regardless of where we are, so needless to say, my camera and my taste buds were in full attendance.

Our flight back to San Antonio was via Memphis and I am pleased to report that the flight crew kept us abreast of the Spurs-Hornets score during the flight. It is always enjoyable to hear your fellow passengers cheering as opposed to screaming - if you know what I mean.

Oh - just a little comment on technology. I have the type of DVR that allows you to log into the box via the wonder of the World Wide Web. As such, I directed my box in Texas to record the Spurs-Hornets game all the way from Florida. I know, for those of you who still can't make your Beta-Max stop blinking 12:00, it may as well be magic. But in spite of the brilliance of this technology, I do have a complaint.

As our flight hits the runway, my son whips open his cell phone and commences to find the live score to the game. As we get into the baggage claim area, several other folks have the scores updating every minute or so. We get out to our van parked in long-term parking, and tune into 1200-WOAI, and listen live to the last full minute or so of the game. So we got it. We know that the Spurs win game 7 and we are happy.

So I get home, turn on the ol' DVR and decide to watch the last five minutes of the game. If you saw it, you know it was pretty intense up until about the last 50 seconds.

Yea. That's about the time my DVR decided that the game was over. You gotta be shittin' me! 50 seconds left in a game 7. I thought it was the season finale to The Sopranos!

Anyway. More on the trip to Florida and the usual nonsense when I get my bags unpacked.

Good Call!

Yep - when the screen went blank, my wife screamed, cursing the TV and prepared to cancel our cable provider and even file suit.

Meanwhile, the Spurs were up by 20 in the second quarter.

Dilemma no more.

The Big Dilemma: The Final Sopranos or The Finals

In probably only two cities in the entire country, there is a major conflict of "Must See" TV tonight: The final episode of The Sopranos on HBO or, the NBA Finals featuring the San Antonio Spurs and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Chances are, if you are reading this from somewhere besides the two cities in question, the choice is very easy.

But I have been weighing the options all day. Granted, the Finals is live and if you record it, you've lost the thrill of seeing it live. I'm one of those people who can't enjoy a sporting event once I know the final outcome (with one notable exception). I mean, if I had a crystal ball and knew that a certain team won, I'd be satisfied to catch the highlight reel on ESPN or something. So with this mindset, I set up my DVR to record The Sopranos.

Then my wife got involved. She also wants to see the Spurs do battle with the Cavs, but she pointed out that her brother will start exactly six minutes before 8PM CST calling us to remind us about the Sopranos. Then, he'll call again as soon as the opening credits have rolled to make sure we remembered his call from earlier. And this calling will go on throughout the entire episode.

Her logic is, if someone calls and says' "Tony just got whacked", we'd be extremely upset. On the other hand, if someone calls and says, "Did you just see Tim Duncan swat the ball away from Lebron James?", we'd ask what the score was, and be happy for the Spurs.

So, I think you can see where I'm going with this. I will be recording the Spurs-Cavs game, watching the final episode of The Sopranos and then switch over at 9:05PM just in time for the start of the 3rd quarter of the Finals.

If anything really good like someone gets ejected or they show the drunk Spurs fan, I'll be happy to rewind the DVR and catch it in due course. Like that creepy brother of Napoleon Dynamite, Kip once sang, "I love technology".