Festive in Alamo Ranch...

My wife and I had a need to do some errands in Alamo Ranch Sunday, and one of the stops included Michaels where I was surprised to learn that it is already Fiesta.This is what I'm talkin' about. In today's economy, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. This guy will no doubt go far.It could be worse. He is inside an air conditioned store and not wearing a mattress.

Chupacabra in 78250? No. Coyote? Yes.

As a follow-up to a recent report about a potential Chupacabra in 78250, I am happy to report that we have not had any recent sightings. But of course, always looking for a potential National Enquirer-like situation, I offer you an excerpt from an official report:

2/20/09 @ 0740, while patrolling in the area of incident location I noticed a mangy gray in color Coyote walking down Timber Jack toward Timber Grand. I honked at the Coyote in attempts to get him out of the neighborhood. I kept honking the horn of the vehicle a few times until the Coyote ran into the greenbelt area behind Timber Grand.

@ 1251 hours, Subject #1 contacted me and reported a Coyote running loose in the area of Timberwilde @ Timber Trace. I responded to the area and made contact with the Coyote in the area of Timber Canyon @ Timber Crown. The Coyote appeared to be the same one I had encountered earlier in the morning. I followed the Coyote to the area of Timber Canyon @ Timber Mill where I noticed him going into the greenbelt area. I contacted SAPD and informed them of the situation. I contacted Subject # 1 and informed him of my actions. End Report.

Strange.
UPDATE: Photo of the Coyote/Chupacabra in action, courtesy of Express-News.

Excitement in The GNW: The New Marquee is Here...

I know you will share tingles of excitement like me when you drive by the intersection of Timber Path and Timberwilde and see the installation of the new modern marquee for the Great Northwest. I know, I was as giddy as a 6th grader at a Jonas Brothers Concert when I got the phone call from one of our readers, saying that it would be up by the time I rolled into the neighborhood after work today. Do I have my Camera? Of course I do!So here it is. At this point, you can only see two little red dots in the lower corners. I guess they aren't ready to start dazzling us with brilliant information and timely updates about the association.

Just as a side note, I'm sure that if you live here, you'll be receiving your copy of The Sentinel Newsletter before long. In it, you will most likely read what a monumental waste of association dollars this and the other new signs being put up soon is.

Each of us is entitled to our own opinions, so I will tell you mine. I am all about getting the word out to people. So many people complain that they didn't hear about this, that, or the other activity that they would have liked to participate in. They don't take the time to read Passages, the monthly official newspaper put out by the association, they don't log into the official web page of our association to read the calendar of events or the scrolling list of new information, they don't read my blog, and then they wonder why they don't know anything.

The association already has several marquees that can only hold a certain amount of information, and they have to be manually updated individually. You have to abbreviate, figure out the best way to make your point in limited space, and after doing all that, there is nothing eye-catching that would make somebody talking on their cell phone look up and see it.With the new marquees, messages can scroll and stream-by, drawing the attention of people at the 4-way stop or stop light. Multiple messages can be loaded meaning more information can be put out and sooner. Imagine an Amber Alert type situation where a full description of a missing child with details such as vehicle info or last known location could be flashed on the marquee. This simply could not be done with any fidelity in the current static marquees. Maybe on weekends, residents could have the addresses of garage sales posted. Who knows? I can think of a dozen other useful situations. The possibilities are endless.

So needless to say, I'm a fan of this new addition to our HOA and I look forward to all the marquees being fully operational. I wonder if they would post a link to my Blog?

Timber Path Construction Update: Quack...

I meant to keep an ongoing account of the construction along Timber Path Road just outside of our neighborhood, but in all honesty, there wasn't a lot of stuff to photograph on my daily stops at the stoplight.But this morning, it occurred to me that they have some pavement! WTH? I still see no sign of a bridge. Please don't tell me that we aren't going to be getting a bridge over the low water crossing.The good news is, the detour along Old Grissom Road gives me a giggle when I pass by. The salvage yard in that area apparently deals in more than just old wrecked Corvettes. Need a duck?

The Hulu Report: Manhattan, AZ...

I may have mentioned a while back that I have been using Hulu.com and my laptop as a source of distraction while I engage myself in the all important work of the treadmill. Oh yea, I may be a fatass, but at least when a doctor asks me about exercise, I can answer in the affirmative without bending the truth. Unless of course, you don't think that walking in place while looking at TV is a form of exercise. Hey; I'm not going to debate you on the topic, but I do know that at least in some societies, walking on a treadmill is considered at least some form of exercise, and depending on what the definition of "is" is, I think I'm on safe ground here.

Anyway, on to the important topic at hand, and my discovery in the really far back pages of the TV shows available on Hulu, of something called Manhattan, AZ. Let me give you my gist of it, then you can see if it is worth a look.

So this LAPD officer works as an undercover vice squad guy (and I'll leave it at that) while his wife is busy being involved in Greenpeace intercepting fishing boats. Meanwhile, their 13 or 14 year-old son sits at home eating potato chips, playing video games, and looking at Internet porn. For some inexplicable reason, half-way through the pilot episode, the actor portraying the son as a fat porn watching dumpling is replaced by a healthy, thin kid.

Anyway, the wife, out on her Greenpeace mission is somehow caught up in a fishing net and is tragically killed - but is not discovered until she has been processed by the tuna fish company. Many tears are shed as several cases of canned tuna are lowered into a grave. (Not kidding).

The LAPD vice cop gets a call from the mayor of a town in Arizona called Manhattan and is offered a job that will allow him to leave all the stress of the loss of his wife and the vice squad in LA, and become the sheriff of this small, vibrant but peaceful town.

When father and son arrive in Manhattan, AZ and find that they are in a desolate town totally unlike anything the mayor (played by Chad Everett) has described, they begin to balk at the job. But of course, the new sheriff has already put 30K down on a house in the middle of nowhere with no refund.

Okay. The pilot was only mildly humorous and had I not been walking on the treadmill, I probably would not have made it through the entire 22 minutes. But episodes 2 and 3 have quadrupled in entertainment, humor and quality.

The town is loaded with really eccentric people like an A1C who works at the super secret "Area 61" Air Force Base where something strange is taking place; a retired couple fully armed with all sorts of weaponry who have made their home in an abandoned hardened missile silo, and many other freaks of nature who could have easily ended up in any number of Showtime or HBO series.

As you might expect, the sheriff and his son being the outsiders in this bizarre town have to deal with the latest crazy thing to happen as the mayor of the town who also owns the store, the diner, the bar and every other business venture in town attempts to capitalize on ways to make money.

Look, if you are my age, you will recognize Manhattan, AZ as an updated version of Green Acres. Much of the comedy is predictable, but so far, I enjoy the quirkiness of the characters. I think Chad Everett does a great job of really poking fun at himself (in this show, he is a retired actor who has been in every B movie ever made as a minor cast character), and the young kid (who by now is probably in his mid twenties) who plays the son (the thin one, not the fat one) is actually pretty funny.

Oh, and that is the other thing about it. This show apparently played on the USA Network in 2000, so it is 9 years old. Where was I when it was on?

Got 22 minutes to waste? Check it out on Hulu (or wherever you get your Internet TV from) and if you can get past the pilot episode, I think you'll be okay.

Now that you know I enjoy really bad TV, do you have a show I need to watch? Tell me about it or leave a comment.

Handicapped Parking Rage: Strange in HEB

So we had to hit the HEB Plus over on Potranco for our Sunday grocery refill and as we were walking in, I heard an older guy shouting. No, really screaming at the top of his lungs. Naturally, I stopped to seek the source of this excitement, and naturally pulled my camera from my pocket to ensure I had functioning batteries in case anything funny happened.

From what I could see, there was a Prius parked in the white lined out area next to a handicapped parking slot. The man was at the driver's side window of the car parked in the handicapped slot, yelling at the older lady driver inside. Of course, I just assumed it was a husband attempting to teach his wife proper parking.

But then I noted that the man started to leave his position of screamage, and head toward the Prius. The man was gesticulating wildly (and who doesn't like to see that in a public place?) and he actually went back to the car in the handicapped slot a few more times to scream some more.

As entertaining as this was, I realized that this older pissed off man was not in fact the driving instructor of the lady in the car parked in the handicapped slot, and for a moment, I began to walk toward the scene figuring I might have to bust a cap or something. Okay, I don't even know what that means, but tough talk is easy when your opponent is 90.I stopped short when Gramps got in his Prius and began to back-up from his position in the lined-out (meaning: no parking) place where he was at. That little Prius had a back-up beeper that sounded just like the ones you hear at 5 AM on a garbage truck in the city. And thankfully so. He was about to back right into a truck. Luckily, he stopped in time, then went forward against traffic and found another handicapped slot to park in.

So after all the excitement, the lady who was parked in the handicap slot, the one who the old guy was shrieking at, started to get out of her car. My wife quickly went over to her and offered to walk with her into the store in case the lunatic in the Prius attempted to confront her once she was out of her car. The very nice lady thanked my wife but told us that she was more than capable of taking care of herself as related to the blowhard. Turns out, he was upset that she got the spot before him so he confronted her. But what sent him over the edge was that she told him he could not park illegally in the striped area adjacent to the handicapped slot he wanted. I can't wait to hit 90. I'll start a blog about old people.Later, as we were walking through the HEB doing our shopping, I spotted Gramps loading up on the wine. If this is your Gandpa, I hope you will alert him to the dangers of mixing wine and Geritol.

Strange.

Lunch Report: Hermann Sons Steak House in Hondo, TX

As many of our adventures go, we don't always end up in the specific place we started off toward. I blame today's circuitous route on the fact that I paid $69.95 to upgrade my Garmin, and it still doesn't list any of the restaurants one might find out near Medina Lake, Mico or the surrounding area. So after driving around for a while, we ended up in Hondo and stopped into Hermann Sons Steak House.

My wife has been trying to get me to stop in this place for at least ten years that I am sure of, if not a whole lot longer, and I have always had an excuse about not being properly attired or something of that nature. But today, we were in our Sunday Best (Jeans and a T-Shirt), and I figured why not go ahead and give the place a try. They have been in business since 1946, so surely there has to be some reason they have survived this long.The parking lot was full and inside, we found a list of people waiting to be seated. We only had to wait maybe five minutes though, and you could tell that this staff was used to being busy.The place is old. It has the look of a place that has served a lot of people and aside from us, I suspect the staff recognized everyone dining there. The large open area is basically just a big square room decorated with usual countrified accoutrement typical of many of the places we like. According to the history of the place, the building is actually an old barracks that was moved from Hondo Air Base. No wonder I felt the need to drop and give 'em twenty. Of course, I refrained from doing so.Before I go any further, I will tell you that we will have to return again if only to try the steak. The menu offers a huge selection of beef steaks but we were both feeling like eating something a little lighter. But from looking around the room at other diner's plates, I can tell you there are some serious vittles to be had. And before you order, they have hot, delicious, fresh, soft and doughy bread with honey butter to slather upon it!My wife decided to get a bacon burger and substitute the fries for onion rings. The patty was a standard pre-fab 1/4 pounder but the grilled bun, generous bacon and fresh fixin's made the difference for her. No, you don't need to drive all the way from San Antonio just to give the burger a try, but it certainly was enjoyable enough to order again. The onion rings are breaded nicely, thick, and the onions are sweet. But for my taste, the breading was very bland. My wife said that perhaps this was to allow the diner's to season to taste.And since I wasn't having steak, I saw they had catfish on the menu and it was an easy choice to make. The fish came with a choice of sides and a trip to the salad bar. The salad bar was as fully stocked as any I have seen with a few different pastas, potato salad, all sorts of veggies that I wouldn't even think of adding to a salad (raw okra, really!) and even some sort of chick pea business. I went with just standard lettuce, a spoonful of pasta and potato salad, some hard boiled eggs, and these huge croutons that were awesome.

We overheard the waitress telling another customer that you can get a huge trip to the salad bar (they give you an enormous platter) for about $5.00 and honestly, you could make a serious meal from it.My catfish was way more than what I expected and they gave me at least double the amount of onion rings that my wife got with her order. I was expecting maybe two pieces of fish and the plate was loaded. Back to the breading issue since they made the fish with the same breading as the onion rings. I have no complaint at all on the texture, the consistency, the coverage etc.; it was all good. But really, how about a little salt? On top of that, they served it with lime instead of lemons. The fish itself was wonderful. It was cooked perfectly, served hot and no fishy taste. I salted the hell out of the fish and the onion rings and used tarter sauce to add taste. If we could introduce these people to Season-All, they would be perfect.

Maybe somebody famous had a heart attack and Hermann Sons is single handily trying to make everyone eat a healthier diet. Who knows? All was not lost, though. We did like the breading once we added salt, and the onions themselves were very sweet, and they weren't over or undercooked.We didn't indulge in dessert, but if you are so inclined, they had a case full of great looking cakes and pies.

We always pass this place on our trips to Garner State Park or whenevr we feel like a drive to Hondo (and who doesn't enjoy that?) and now that we have been, I won't hesitate to pull in for something a little more agressive on the menu - like the steak.

Are you a fan? Do you have an experience from Hermann Sons Steak House we need to know about? Tell me about it or leave a comment.