The Hulu Report: Manhattan, AZ...

I may have mentioned a while back that I have been using Hulu.com and my laptop as a source of distraction while I engage myself in the all important work of the treadmill. Oh yea, I may be a fatass, but at least when a doctor asks me about exercise, I can answer in the affirmative without bending the truth. Unless of course, you don't think that walking in place while looking at TV is a form of exercise. Hey; I'm not going to debate you on the topic, but I do know that at least in some societies, walking on a treadmill is considered at least some form of exercise, and depending on what the definition of "is" is, I think I'm on safe ground here.

Anyway, on to the important topic at hand, and my discovery in the really far back pages of the TV shows available on Hulu, of something called Manhattan, AZ. Let me give you my gist of it, then you can see if it is worth a look.

So this LAPD officer works as an undercover vice squad guy (and I'll leave it at that) while his wife is busy being involved in Greenpeace intercepting fishing boats. Meanwhile, their 13 or 14 year-old son sits at home eating potato chips, playing video games, and looking at Internet porn. For some inexplicable reason, half-way through the pilot episode, the actor portraying the son as a fat porn watching dumpling is replaced by a healthy, thin kid.

Anyway, the wife, out on her Greenpeace mission is somehow caught up in a fishing net and is tragically killed - but is not discovered until she has been processed by the tuna fish company. Many tears are shed as several cases of canned tuna are lowered into a grave. (Not kidding).

The LAPD vice cop gets a call from the mayor of a town in Arizona called Manhattan and is offered a job that will allow him to leave all the stress of the loss of his wife and the vice squad in LA, and become the sheriff of this small, vibrant but peaceful town.

When father and son arrive in Manhattan, AZ and find that they are in a desolate town totally unlike anything the mayor (played by Chad Everett) has described, they begin to balk at the job. But of course, the new sheriff has already put 30K down on a house in the middle of nowhere with no refund.

Okay. The pilot was only mildly humorous and had I not been walking on the treadmill, I probably would not have made it through the entire 22 minutes. But episodes 2 and 3 have quadrupled in entertainment, humor and quality.

The town is loaded with really eccentric people like an A1C who works at the super secret "Area 61" Air Force Base where something strange is taking place; a retired couple fully armed with all sorts of weaponry who have made their home in an abandoned hardened missile silo, and many other freaks of nature who could have easily ended up in any number of Showtime or HBO series.

As you might expect, the sheriff and his son being the outsiders in this bizarre town have to deal with the latest crazy thing to happen as the mayor of the town who also owns the store, the diner, the bar and every other business venture in town attempts to capitalize on ways to make money.

Look, if you are my age, you will recognize Manhattan, AZ as an updated version of Green Acres. Much of the comedy is predictable, but so far, I enjoy the quirkiness of the characters. I think Chad Everett does a great job of really poking fun at himself (in this show, he is a retired actor who has been in every B movie ever made as a minor cast character), and the young kid (who by now is probably in his mid twenties) who plays the son (the thin one, not the fat one) is actually pretty funny.

Oh, and that is the other thing about it. This show apparently played on the USA Network in 2000, so it is 9 years old. Where was I when it was on?

Got 22 minutes to waste? Check it out on Hulu (or wherever you get your Internet TV from) and if you can get past the pilot episode, I think you'll be okay.

Now that you know I enjoy really bad TV, do you have a show I need to watch? Tell me about it or leave a comment.

Friday Morning Notes...

Alert the press: I have taken the day off so my wife and I can get some much needed pre-Christmas actions completed. Most importantly, I need to hit the Walgreen's and purchase some Christmas presents before all of the last minute people get the good gifts.

I took our dog Gracie, to the groomers just moments ago and have a nice stream of blood coming out of my arm where she inadvertently scratched the crap out of me. I suppose it really is time to get her nails cut. Oh, and if any of you fall for that scam called PediPaws or whatever, I'll be happy to sell you ours. It has never been used, not even once. Yea, that's $30 plus shipping I'll never get back - unless one of you would like to buy it from me.

The thing is, those dogs they show on TV are apparently trained professional model dogs who have also probably been heavily sedated. The instructions actually tell you that the dog won't be happy about it (so much for the TV commercial), and they recommend you physically lay on top of the dog to restrain it. Yea, I didn't see that in the commercial either. Oh well.

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Remember the other day I posted a picture of the street closure signs for Timber Path? Okay, and remember the time a reader sent in a theory about the Pizza Hut that was being built across the street from the old one? Well my neighbor Gus has a theory about the bigger story.

We had already established that in fact, they are building a new Pizza Hut directly across the street from the old one. What we didn't know was that the old Pizza Hut will be torn down. Why wouldn't they just open a new Mexican restaurant there? Well, Gus has looked at an aerial view of the area and concluded that perhaps the new bridge being built over the low water crossing is in fact going to come out directly on top of the old Pizza Hut.Look at the picture and tell me what you think of this theory. It works for me. Though I won't be happy unless they also move the other side of Timber Path to meet the new road.

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I didn't really want to mention it until I had gone at least a month without giving up on it, but I am back to walking on the tread mill again. I know it would be better to just go out and run a marathon or something, but my wife is afraid of me getting a few miles from the house and losing consciousness or something. When I was walking before, I had a few seriously low blood sugar incidents that warranted me calling her - slightly disoriented - to come and pick me up on some street starting with Timber. Not very helpful even if you are familiar with the area. So for now, I'm on the treadmill in the safety of our home. And I keep a donut handy in case I feel queasy. Just kidding.

Anyway, I had this bright idea of building a shelf in front of the tread mill so I could set my laptop on it and listen to podcasts of my favorite radio programs. My wife didn't like that idea at all because she had this image of me putting up some huge desk-sized shelf there. Then, she promptly moved the treadmill to the side of the room where you can either stare at pictures or look out the French doors into our front yard (or neighbors can drive by and see the fat guy walking).So something caught my eye and I moved a few pictures over and sure enough, I can fit the laptop on top of the shelf already in place! I turned on the computer, turned on one of the podcasts I had been saving and things were good to go. Then, it hit me. The shelf was at the perfect height to where I could walk and actually look straight up into the screen. Oh sure, you can't surf the net while walking on a tread mill (well, I can't), but after my neighbor Myrl showed me something called Hulu TV, I was in like Flynn!

So there I was after work yesterday, walking on the tread mill, watching the pilot episode of Sons of Anarchy. Just how lazy are we as a society that we have to watch TV while exercising? Hey, I just call it good time management.