The Morning Report: Garden Ridge & Ingram Mall...

I broke one of my personal policies this morning by entering Garden Ridge Pottery anytime after Halloween. For some reason, they transform the place into the smell of cinnamon, and I just don't care for that, at all. But, my wife needed to look for something, so off we went; and I promise, I was prepared to wait outside if need be. But in fact, they must have reduced the cinnamon smell because it just wasn't all that bad.But if you plan to attempt Garden Ridge, you should know that shoppers seem to have trashed the place. My wife commented that everything looked as though it had been picked through. Seriously people, can't you look at something and then place it back on the shelf where it came from?Last night we took a drive around the neighborhood to show our dog Gracie the Christmas lights. I have noticed over the years an increase in the use of these fancy blow-up ornaments and huge globes and such. So standing in Garden Ridge, I witnessed some guy purchase one of these palm tree looking things with a built-in stereo system and flashing lights. It is actually cool; you can connect your iPod to it and play your favorite music. The problem was, it wasn't playing Christmas music at all - it was like a cruise to Jamaica or something and this redneck with a huge beer belly (bigger than mine, in fact) was attempting to do some sort of mambo train dance as his wife hurriedly pushed the shopping cart away from gawking onlookers and the one guy with a camera. Sorry, no footage.

But the point of it is, what happened to just a string of lights and a wreath on the door? Oh, who am I kidding? We have deer and other crap set out in our front yard too.

And if some deer and a big Texas outline that has flashing lights that spell out "Merry Christmas, Y'all" doesn't put you in the mood, surely this will get you going.Oh, and attention Garden Ridge: It is Christmas season. Can we open up more than two cash registers?

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So we had to run to Ingram Park Mall to find something at Kirkland's, but we got there before they opened up. We decided to walk around for a bit, and some lady snagged my wife to demonstrate some Russian style hair flatting device. Okay, I say Russian because they lady had a really thick Russian accent. Anyway, the lady starts messing with my wife's hair and she is being a good sport about it though she tried to walk away several times and was too polite to say, Get off me, bitch! About the time I walk back up to them, I hear the lady telling my wife that the little straightening thing is regularly priced $352.00 but right now, she could let it go for $159.00. I nearly bust a gut trying to throw my laugh in a different direction. My wife was a little more pleasant simply saying, "Oh, hell no!" Seriously, if you saw this thing, you'd be sure it was the same thing they sell at Walgreen's for $19.99. I mean, our economy can't be so jacked-up if people will pay $159 much less $352 to straighten their hair.

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We went in to Kirkland's, got the few items we needed then by chance went down to the Sears just to observe and report as needed.I wonder if they really want you to walk down the blue line, then stand directly in front of the sign until called to the register. Apparently, the lady did not think so.

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After a trip to HEB Plus, we thought we would try out the new Freddy's Frozen Custard place they built on Potranco Road near Highway 151. The place was packed, but we figured we would give it a shot.Not so fast my friends. Apparently, they were just feeding each other because it still isn't open yet. Has anyone ever eaten at one of these places? I am assume it is a chain. What should I order? Tell me about it.

The Rim Report: Animal Abuse in Style...

My wife and I experienced something this afternoon that really left us pissed off and a bit frazzled for a while. We went into The Rim to run into the JC Penny's before heading out to Boerne. By chance, I pulled into a parking spot just in front of the Kirklands. As I was getting out of the truck, I happened to look down in the car parked beside me and saw a dog sitting in the back seat. I did a double take because the first thing I realized was that the windows on the car were rolled up. I snapped a few pictures before whipping open my phone and calling SAPD. Meanwhile, my wife ran into the Penny's to ask the staff there to call The Rim security, which of course they did.I stood by the car because I was going to wait for the police and if the dog appeared to have the least amount of stress, I was going to take great joy in busting one of the windows on the car.

Now let's be clear. The owner of the car was gone when we pulled in, so we really have no idea if the dog had been left in the heat for a minute or an hour. So when the lady walked up to the car and saw me taking pictures of her license plate, she had sort of a weird smile on her face as if she realized why I was standing there. I asked her if she realized she had left her dog in the car with the windows rolled up. She didn't look shocked at all but rather pulled off one of those, "Oops, I thought I left the windows down" excuses. The lady is lucky my wife was still in Penny's.

I then said to her, "Well why don't you at least open the door so the dog can get some air?" and she immediately opened the back door and said, "Oh, he's fine." Again, the lady is lucky my wife was still in Penny's. Not that she has to apologize to me, but for Christ's sake, show some concern or remorse, if only pretend.

I just shook my head in disbelief as the lady climbed into her car and pulled out. It was obvious that the police call probably hadn't been made at this point, but I was hoping for a quick arrival by security. I called SAPD back and told them that the lady with the dog had left so they may as well not bother, but I did give them the car description and the license plate number.

So, As I am walking toward Penney's and my wife is walking out to tell me security is on the way, we turn around and see that the lady has now pulled into the fire lane in front of Kirkland's to have some stuff loaded. When she saw us stop to look at her, it looked to me as if she had changed her mind about leaving the dog in the car again, and this time, pulled the dog out on his leash (Thank God he was okay), and then yelled to us, "It's okay, you don't have to watch me."

I despise a scene or any drama, but my wife yelled back at the top of her lungs something about don't worry about us, you should worry about your dog and stupid people shouldn't be allowed to have pets etc etc. Had we been closer, I think we might have had a situation.

By the time we finished our quick stop in Penney's (four $40.00 shirts for $6.97 each), the security lady had arrived and my wife showed her the pictures I took along with the license plate number. The security lady told us it was definitely a felony and the lady was lucky she got out before the police got there, or she probably would be going to jail.

We're just glad the dog was okay. Look, anyone can make a mistake or become forgetful, but how many times do we have to see on the news that dumbasses in Texas, where on any day it can soar into the high 90's, keep forgetting their kids and pets in locked and sealed pressure cookers? I honestly hope this lady won't make the same mistake again, for the sake of the dog.

Oh, and I guess the obvious question is, why the hell does one take a dog to The Rim in the first place?