GNWCIA Meeting Report: My Notes...

My wife and I made the short trip down to the Lodge of the Great Northwest to attend the monthly Board meeting of the Great Northwest Community Improvement Association (GNWCIA). I'll keep the notes brief - because... Oh who am I kidding? This will probably end up being fairly long winded. It was in fact, by normal standards, a barn-burner, and we haven't had fun like this in a while!

Residents to Speak: Have you ever watched the San Antonio City Council channel on community television? I know, if all you have is basic cable, sometimes it comes to that. Unless you are a dork like me who has the full package and still looks at the goofy stuff.

There are a few regulars who show up to every council meeting with a long laundry list of beefs with the council and I admit, I have watched in amazement as this one man, a guy named Jack Finger, gets up and has accusation after accusation about how the city council is doing this wrong or not following that policy. I confess that I have found the monologues quite entertaining on occasion.

As Mr. Finger brings pages of notes containing the proof, the proof, dammit!, that city council has gone astray in their inner workings, and asks each council member to recuse themselves from this; that, or the other, because somebody received a $12 donation from an old lady in Alamo Heights, and she was once the neighbor of the babysitter of the nephew of a particular council member; thus, conflict of interest is apparent. And city council members stare into their PDA's and drink Bill Miller's iced tea. Or is it vodka?

After you see this train wreck a few times, the entertainment value is lost and now, Mr. Finger just becomes an eccentric part of the proceedings with no more relevance (and no-less I should point out), than the lady whose job it is to change the slides each time someone speaks. Point being; the meeting wouldn't be the same without somebody to flip slides, but let us not lose sight of the fact that like the lady flipping slides, Mr. Finger is not the most relevant piece of the city council meeting. Though make no mistake, in his mind, he is the key component.

• Our first speaker was Sentinel publisher, Joe Martinez.

I'll let that sink in for a moment or two...

• Up next, Mr. Robert Rodkey thanked the board for doing what he believes is a good job.
• Mr. Ben Pucci spoke to also thank the board for their efforts, but he was a bit concerned about the new signs, especially the cost ($70K was his figure) and concerns that people might cause car accidents; in fact, someone had honked at him because he was stopped at the intersection too long while reading the various messages. It happens.
• Ms. Kathy Callahan spoke of her concern for the addition of new by-law amendments on the ballots for the forthcoming annual meeting. She mistakenly thought the board had voted to eliminate all amendments (as in, any) from the next vote. In fact, they only killed the specific proposed amendments that had been sitting in limbo for a few years.
  
• Mr. Mike Yager spoke on two topics. First, he wanted the board to know he was uncomfortable with the closing the executive board meeting (usually held the first Thursday of the month) to directors only. As a side note, while I understand why they needed to do it, I would also prefer to be in on the festivities. Once a month is not enough!
• Mike also mentioned the desire to have another A-Team event. For those of you who do not know, the A-Team is our volunteer effort to go around the neighborhood and fix things - painting, cleaning, volunteering, etc. As it turns out, there is an A-Team event planned for Saturday the 28th of March to help get the GNW Soccer fields ready for the season. Wanna help us? Meet up at 9AM on Saturday or e-mail me, and I'll get you in touch with Mike.

And after that, the meeting started!

Community Manager Report:

• Did you notice that there is a Coyote and/or Chupacabra roaming the neighborhood? Well, in spite of the many appearances on local TV, newspapers, Blogs and other media outlets, the mangy animal in question is still on the loose. If you encounter said creature, please do not call the police or the Animal Care Services. Chupacabras and Coyotes both fall under the purview of Parks & Wildlife. By the way, while I don't recommend you get close enough to become lunch, if you do get pictures, e-mail them to me for prompt posting here!
• The CM addressed some of the concerns brought up in The Sentinel newsletter regarding the accounting practices of the board. You should know that in fact, the Sentinel quoted a letter from the accountant, took it out of context and still got it exactly wrong.
• CM also addressed concerns about allowing the carriers of Passages (our local monthly newspaper) to stuff a flyer for a local restaurant (House of Pizza) in with delivery of the paper. He pointed out to the board that the business covered the full cost (an additional fee paid to the carriers) for stuffing, and in return, they have been a very good business to the community, sponsoring luncheons for our youth sports teams and other events. I think this is awesome. One of the CM's goals was to build a rapport with local businesses, and this is just one of many ways to do it. Kudos, Darin!
  

Committee Reports:

• Government Affairs: The GNW is sponsoring debates to be held on April 6, 7 and 8th for Council District seats 6 and 7 (on the 6th and 7th respectively) and the Mayoral seat on the 8th. The dates and times for the 6th and 7th are locked in. The time on the 8th is being moved to a little later due to conflicts with another debate. Keep your eyes on the marquees (and the road) for updates as we approach the date.
• Election Officer: Candidate night for the two new Directors will be held on April 14th at 7PM at the lodge. This will be a great chance for you to meet our two new Directors (assuming we have a quorum), Beatriz Dean and Mark Martinez. By the way, I have had brief conversations with both these people and they seem eager to get started on the board. We should really give them our support by voting them in.
• GNWatch. Cellular on Patrol class at the GNW Lodge, Saturday 8am to 1PM. Free Donuts and pizza. Who could ask for more?
• Scholarship Committee: Kathy Callahan reports that the potential scholarship candidates will all wait until the last minute to submit applications. Happens every year. Do you have a kid who needs a scholarship? Better get those applications in, soon.

After a short break, the meeting got underway again to listen to some new business.

Proposed Bylaw Amendments: Director Myrl Britton Gave a draft presentation that is being prepared for the Town Hall Meeting to explain the two proposed Bylaw changes for our HOA.

• The first change is to "provide for the levying of fines for violation of Association covenants, conditions, and restrictions." And of course, if you vote to add this bylaw, you will vote to change the "period" after the previous bylaw to a "semi-colon". Obviously, if you don't vote to add the new bylaw, you wouldn't be voting to swap out a period for a semi-colon.

I know this sounds asinine, but when I saw the Sentinel delivered to my house this afternoon, the publisher actually made a huge deal about not making the punctuation change a separate vote. Let's discuss this for a moment.

Imagine you voted to change the period to a semi-colon, but voted against adding the new amendment. Can you imagine the English teachers trying to explain this to your kids in preparation for the TAAKS Test?

• In the second proposed bylaw change, Director Britton suggests we remove the following bylaw: "(l) assure that a total monetary reserve for all funds of no more than three hundred thousand dollars ($300,000) be maintained. This amount may be raised only through yearly surplus funds in the general operating budget."

This one is a no-brainer. That cap was put in place several years ago and as one thoughtful audience member pointed out, he could by a 1968 Ford Mustang for $2,600 in 1968, but now, the same car would be roughly $26,000. Fact is, cost of living rises and you need more money in reserve than you did several years ago. Leave that amount to the board, not some arbitrary cap.

But again, I have to laugh at The Sentinel thinking that the omission of swapping out a "semi-colon" for a "period" at the end of the previous bylaw would require an additional vote. If you vote to delete the last bylaw in a section, it is obvious that you change the punctuation to reflect that the section ends (with a period).

Jack Finger would be proud.

I have come to the conclusion that there are people who will poo poo any idea that does not originate from their own mouths. We saw a bit of that at last nights meeting.

I don't want to sound too much like my President, Mr. Obama, but I told my wife that some people would vote against giving cotton candy to retards just because they didn't think of it first.

And I have already called the Special Olympics folks to offer a full apology before you even finished reading this.

See you at the next Board meeting - I hope.

Criminals for Sensible Gun Control

I know this is old, but I saw it today for the first time. Quite enjoyable.

Places Not to Eat and Other Important Notes...

I have been busier than a one-legged man in an ass kickin' contest, so I regret that I will have to consolidate several posts into a single report here. In addition to going through the entire process of setting up a new computer and all that entails; getting files transferred, and all the pain of that, I have several other projects I am working on that have left me little time to post, watch TV, eat, sleep, and oh by the way, work full time. I told my neighbor Gus, if it wasn't for the pesky 10 hours a day for work, I could probably get a lot more stuff done.

So anyway, trying to consolidate things I had been having "issues" with my awesome computer. Long story short, I went to PC Outlet and bought one of those refurbished Dells loaded with Windows XP (which is what I wanted), a huge hard drive (which is what I needed) and 2 Gigs of memory (which is the least I can deal with), all for $269. Oh sure, I had to spend a few more bucks here and there to make everything suitable, but it beat going out and buying a full new system. Oh, and if any of you can give me explicit, detailed step-by-step instructions on how to make my DVD-drive work after adding a second 500Gb hard-drive, I'd appreciate the knowledge.

UPDATE: Kudos and thanks to reader Anon E. Mouse who sent me an e-mail with enough info to help me check my settings and fix the problem. He is a computer consultant, so if you need help of your own, why not give him a call?

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So on the same day we went to PC Outlet, we decided to go eat at a BBQ place I found on the Google. Interesting story, sort of. A few weeks ago, I was looking for a place to eat and I was doing the usual thing of opening up a Google map of the general location we wanted to go, then start doing searches on businesses with keywords such as BBQ or Diner or whatever.

I stumbled upon this place and went to the web page. It was more of a catering business but they mentioned having a restaurant. When I looked at the bio of the owner, sure enough, he was a guy my wife went to high school with. And for this reason (and probably why I would never make it as a good critic) I won't bother to mention the name of the establishment (though you can probably figure it out).

Anyway, the day I did the search, it was on a Sunday. They are closed on Sunday and Monday. Long story short; it took us several weeks before we could finally get to the place, and it was this past Saturday.

We find the place over on San Antonio's east side. Between the Alamodome and AT&T Center. We followed Garmin to the appointed intersection along Commerce Street, but I never did see a restaurant. Finally, I decided to pull into a convenience store and ask for directions, and my wife says, "Oh, there it is." And I respond, "Where?" And she points at the convenience store and says "There!".Yes, this is my kind of hole in the wall. A restaurant in a convenience store.

I asked her if she wanted to just skip it, but I think we both agreed that it was worth going in and at least getting the food to go.

Let me fast forward to the actual food. We both ordered a combo deal where you get two meats and two sides. We both wanted chicken and brisket. I was going to have the potato salad and green beans, and my wife was going to have beans and Spanish rice.

As we were waiting, the lady behind the counter told me that the chicken was going to be a while and offered instead to give us pork ribs. Not a problem with me at all. As the lady was bagging up our Styrofoam containers, I asked her about the two sides and she said, "Oh, I gave you macaroni and beans." Well okay then.

Just about then (and maybe because I was taking pictures of the place) the owner came out immediately recognized my wife. They exchanged brief pleasantries and I said to my wife, "Where was he when we were paying for this meal?" Hey, you never know.

Anyway, the bag of food was heavy - really heavy like maybe they had thrown in some extra meat and such. Bonus! We left and made our way to do other errands and look for a suitable place to park so we could eat. The fine diners that we are, we pulled into a Wal Mart parking lot, loosened up the eating pants and got ready for what was sure to be an awesome dining experience, picnic style.

My container had some brown sausage and some pork ribs. My wife got some inedible brisket and more sausage. We just laughed, and started to dig in with plastic utensils.Don't let the pictures fool you. The BBQ sauce was nasty. I can't even identify what the sausage was made of, though I did eat it, somewhat timidly. The pork ribs were just barely acceptable, but in fact neither of us ate all of them. The brisket looked like what is burnt on the bottom of a pan and you have to pry up with a chisel before scrubbing with a Brillo pad. In all, this was not a stunning performance for a place that we had been waiting to enjoy for several weeks.

In the end, we put all the food back in the bag and I put the bag in the bed of the truck for the ride home. My wife then looked at me and said, "Quick, I need some shit to eat so I can get this taste out of my mouth." I guess that's about all you need to know.

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We were in the HEB Plus doing some quick shopping and came across a nice lady giving samples of sausage with different versions of Stubb's barbecue sauces. I love that stuff. After the lady shooed off several little girls making repeat trips to the free samples, my wife started talking to her about the sauce (BBQ sauce, that is). Anyway, turns out the lady was Mrs. Linda Stubblefield, the wife of "Stubb's" Of course we took a picture. And of course she autographed a bottle of the sauce for me. And no, I'm not going to not use it simply because the lady signed it. Unless you send me an e-mail wanting to buy it from me.

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Tonight, I got home from work and my wife wanted to go to IHOP and get a BLT. Secretly, I wondered if the service we got the first time around would have worn off now that they have been open for a few months. Simple answer: Yes. The place wasn't even crowded but it took FOREVER to get the food.My wife had a BLT that was seriously lacking in bacon.I had (and I knew it was a mistake as soon as I ordered it) a Philly Cheese Steak. One word: awful. The onion rings were fine.

In fairness, my wife overheard another waitress explaining to her table that they had a new cook working and he had not quite figured out the menu. Like he was not aware that pancakes came with a certain order, and then when he made the pancakes, did not know that three instead of two came with the order. These are all things that happen, I suppose. Apparently among the problems with being new was that he had no idea how to properly make a Philly Cheese steak.

So there you have it. It has really been a banner week.

And It's only Monday.

Dinner Report: Texas Ribs & BBQ, Clinton, MD...

A quick dinner report from regular reader Anon E. Mouse who is in D.C. at the moment. Lee sends some pictures from a place called Texas Ribs & BBQ.Just south of D.C. in Clinton, MD, things are looking mighty lip smackin' good! Look at the size of those shrimp!

Got some vittles I need to see? Send me a picture and the name of the place you were doin' yer eatin' at. Pictures of the food in the upright and locked position works better than sideways, but we'll make do!

GNW Sentinel Report: All you need to know...

If you live in our area, I know you are squirming in your seats in anticipation of the March 2009 release of the GNW Sentinel, a newsletter which presents the opinions of its publisher, my friend Mr. Joe Martinez. If you simply can't wait for the 4-page rehash of the stuff he brings up at the monthly neighborhood association meetings, I'm here to summarize and comment as needed. You'll thank me later.

The first quarter of the news letter regards meeting minutes.

As you may recall my last report on the meeting of the GNWCIA, I wrote that one of Mr. Martinez' complaints was about requesting minutes from a previous meeting and receiving what was essentially a fully blacked out page. Let's recap what I wrote:

He did in fact present to the board and the assembled audience several pages of what appeared to be meeting minutes where literally all but the headings of each paragraph were blacked-out as if they were a freedom of information request on some special project at Area 51. By any reasonable person's assessment, if you are a resident and you want to see the minutes of a board meeting, this is not what you would expect to receive.

It would turn out however, (and in a conversation with me later, Mr. Martinez refuted this claim), the Chairman upon seeing the blackened pages immediately directed that Mr. Martinez receive the correct version.

Was the matter of the redacted minutes blown out of proportion by Mr. Martinez? Apparently, that is in dispute. I simply don't know, but at the board meeting, he was again offered the minutes and did not seem interested.

As expected, Mr. Martinez not only didn't care about the meeting minutes (he already knows what takes place from his well placed sources), but he needed an attention getting ploy to start off his newsletter. I don't mind that he brings up the redacted notes; I agree that as residents, we need to be able to review the minutes. But let's not be disingenuous about the fact that the board attempted to correct the error.

Just purely out of curiosity (and this should have no bearing on right versus wrong) I have to ask, just how many residents from the almost 5,000 homes that will receive the Sentinel, have ever actually requested meeting minutes, much less attend a monthly board meeting?

Up next in this Sentinel, there is much discussion about the proper procedures for the budget and financial statements. Once again, I must tell you in all frankness, this is a broken record issue with Mr. Martinez.

As someone who does attend the monthly meetings, I sat right there in the meeting and listened to the professional auditor give our board a thumbs up and clean bill of health. When questioned by Mr. Martinez about perceived failures in accounting procedures, the auditor went into excruciating, eyeballs-rolling-into-the-back-of-your-head detail, to explain why things were done the way they were, or in cases where there were options on how to handle things, he explained that the choice selected was "okay".

Bottom line, the GNWCIA received a glowing report from the auditor and Mr. Martinez even complimented the board at the time. Now, in this edition of the Sentinel, he would have you believe that all is going to hell in a hand basket. I submit that your parakeet will especially appreciate the financial section.

Of course, there is always room for agreement, and I am happy to say that from what I can see, Mr. Martinez has hand-picked two fine candidates for the next election of the Board of Directors. I echo his sentiments when he asks readers not to allow the embarrassment experienced last year when we could not get a quorum - thus no election. I also concur that as residents, we should solidly support the new candidates by obtaining that quorum and voting.

Where we once again have to part company is in the final paragraph where Mr. Martinez asks you to give him your proxy. Make no mistake, this is perfectly within the rules and if you don't plan to vote or can't/won't attend the meeting, then please, give your proxy to someone.

But Mr. Martinez has already demonstrated a willingness to gather a large block of proxies, then walk out of the meeting causing there not to be a quorum.

If you want to give your proxy to someone, give it to me. With the exception of one or two meetings where I was out of town for business, I have attended every meeting of the board - in fact, I have a better record than many of the sitting directors.

So there you have it. I hope I didn't spoil your enjoyment of the Sentinel. And of course, I encourage Mr. Martinez to leave comments correcting anything I have misinterpreted.

Didn't get your copy of the Sentinel? E-mail me and I'll send it to you.

River Walk Construction Update: Rain!

In case you hadn't seen the news, San Antonio has been in a record setting drought this year but in the last two days, we have gotten a wonderful, almost steady stream of the good kind of rain that fills the aquifer and makes the grass turn green.

So today, I had to do some work at my downtown office and thought I would wander over to the River Walk near McCullough and St Mary's, to see how the sudden onset of precipitation had impacted the construction.Well! I wasn't expecting water in the river! I know, that probably sounds goofy, but if you have been following my river walk construction updates, you know that the water along this stretch of river has been diverted into two huge pipes. Apparently, all this rain was a bit more than the pipes could handle. And look how the brown grass (which I was sure had just withered and died) is totally golf course green.And of course, other shrubs and plants and trees (except for the palm that looks like it didn't make it) are looking good. The last picture (above, right) shows the end of the water pipe feeding back into the regular river at the Lexington Avenue Bridge. It is flowing pretty darn good! We'll see how long it takes the excess river water to be drained.

Wanna see all the pictures? Of course you do. Head over to the River Walk Construction page on Flickr and see the transformation.

San Antonio Zoo Report: Nice Monkey...

On Monday, I took the day off from work and due to the good weather (overcast - not rainy but no fireball in the sky to make life miserable), my wife wanted to use the buy one - get one free coupon she had for the San Antonio Zoo. We haven't been in years and there has been a lot of upgrades and improvements to the facilities.

I'll spare you a full, cage by cage accounting of every bird, reptile, sloth, and zebra we encountered and simply give you a brief recap, along with a polite invitation to head over to the Flickr Page for all the pictures I took during the trip.

And the first thing you might note over there was the first thing we encountered on our way in. What with spring break in full swing, the zoo was totally packed. We ended up having to park about half a mile away on the other side of the Japanese Tea Gardens next to Augie's.As I was looking for a spot, I noticed this guy taking pictures of his incredibly hot Ford Mustang. It was black, had nice rims and was seriously shiny. Then, some strange chick in a bikini shows up and starts getting her ass prints all over the hood of the car. Thankfully, the guy caught her on film to help with the prosecution. But just in case his camera jammed, I went ahead and got some evidence. You never know; Crime Stoppers may have a reward for help in arresting the inconsiderate gal.

And speaking of parking. As we drove past the main parking lot, my wife mentioned to me that there were available slots because there were cars leaving. Yet, the police officer pointed to the Lot Full sign and wouldn't let us in.Well apparently, a guy in a Mercedes was giving the officer a hard time about the fact that, if people are leaving the lot, it must be freeing up slots - simple math, right? And the officer apparently agreed and let them in. Figures.In spite of being really crowded, we did not have to wait in a long line to get in. And once inside, it occurred to us that we were the only adults there without a gaggle of little kids with us. Ha Ha!We went around and saw the usual sights. I'm often depressed at the zoo. I know that many of the animals (like these bald eagles that had been shot and cannot fly) survive only because they are cared for in captivity, but still, I think of how lonely it must be to be stuck in a small space and have to be the target of screaming little kids all day long, with their ear-piercing screams and constant thumping on glass and cages. And again, I realized we were at the zoo with out kids and looked at the other stressed out parents and thought, Ha Ha!One of the new features is a a butterfly haven where for some reason, you pay an extra dollar to go inside a sealed off building full of a bunch of butterflies. I know, you have to be thinking that it can't be good to have a bunch of screaming little kids running around in a place where the animals can't escape. But in fairness, a lady gives you a little list of rules on the way in and two little girls that walked in with us were explicitly told that if they screamed even once, the zoo keeper would come and get them, and their parents would never see or hear of them again. That was comforting. For me, anyway.In all seriousness though, we have been to the SA Zoo many times over the years and really, I always had hoped that maybe some rich billionaire would buy up a huge parcel of acreage and put together a really awesome zoo facility. Or maybe even add a full zoo to Sea World. I just always thought that the zoo in San Antonio, being built inside a quarry and really limited in real estate, created too small of an environment to do justice for the animals there. Having seen places like Busch Gardens, I see what the free enterprise system can do, but when a zoo is dependent upon donations and few tax dollars, it seems to suffer.Having said that, I am happy to report that I think our zoo has improved dramatically since the last time I was there. There is serious construction underway to build some sort of African experience (the animals, not the killing) and I also noted staff everywhere, cleaning up crap and also talking with visitors explaining things. I was very pleased.



On a final note, before you push the play button, I should tell you that no visit to the zoo is complete without seeing the monkeys toss fecal matter at one another (or at the people gawking). But if you can't witness that good time, there is always a chance that you will see something extraordinary. I walked up with the camera rolling and had to fight may way through a pack of teenage girls squealing with disgust (or was it amazement) as one little friend put on a show.

I know. Good times.