I won't cuss, but a at least two of the pictures I'm going to post here contain potentially objectionable material. One picture contains a bumper sticker that includes a foul word (Fuck) and the other contains a picture of a penis drawn on the back of a person's vehicle window. The penis is not well drawn, but it is clear to most observers that it is in fact intended to be a penis.
If you are offended by either of these things, you should not read further, as the pictures I have described and will post below may offend you.
Likewise, if you are offended by a building that has a sign on the outside that says "Boobie Rock", even though I won't be posting a picture of the building or the sign, you may wish to move along because I have a paragraph or two which will discuss said building.
I am not normally driven to get beyond restaurant reviews, day trips or discussions of funny things I saw at the HEB, but I hope you can indulge me for just a moment as I bring up something that has bothered me recently. I promise, I will try to be sensitive in my descriptions of things I have seen in public.
In recent weeks, there has been discussion amongst the San Antonio city council and specifically, with the council lady from District 8 named Diane Cibrian about a business trying to open up on I-10 at Huebner in a building formerly occupied by a club called Hooligans. Her concern is no doubt for the children of the community who might ride their bikes along the highway and be offended by a building facade. Heaven forbid one of these children was hit by an 18-wheeler doing 70 MPH. But they might live to walk amongst the rest of us at a mall where they would see the open displays of Victoria's Secret or worse, Lane Bryant.
I would have let this go because people far smarter and wittier than I can come up with a million points as to why this whole idea is so ridiculous. Forget the fact that on the opposite side of I-10 is All Stars, another Gentleman's club that has operated without apparent concern by children on bicycles for years.
But for the last several months, San Antonio has been adorned with some billboards for a morning radio show called Lisle and Hahn. These two guys have owned the number one spot on radio for the most part, for as long as I have lived in SA, though I haven't always listened to them.
Frankly, during the years that I drove my kids to school, I didn't want to have to explain any potential double entendres that might come from Lisle and Hahn or back then, Drex, so our drive consisted of wholesome news reports and Viagra commercials from WOAI and KTSA. But like many parents my age, as soon as the kids were safely in school, I was back on the FM band listening to those heathens give commentary of the latest events.
Some people have written letters and complained about this latest billboard, showing John Lisle and Steve Hahn on their knees, next to the legs and boots of some gal with a headline: 15 Years of Morning Domination. The writers claim that they have to explain to their kids why the two bad men are on their knees or why a lady would be wearing boots. Seriously.I took the picture for the clouds, but you can click on it to see what I'm talking about.
To the point: I am honestly having a hard time following these busy-bodies who seem to go out of their way to be offended by things that they think their kids will be offended by. My kids survived years of rides to school listening to "conservative talk radio" advertisements for the aforementioned boner medicine, and worse, something called Enzyte advertised by a guy named Bob who seemed to be happy all the time. They never questioned me about it nor, as far as I know, tried to purchase any of it, just because it was being pushed by "conservative talk radio".
If you are driving down I-10 at 70 MPH, do you honestly think your kid will notice the Boobie Rock building any more or less than the pre-exisiting All Stars building? And if his or her frame of reference that "Boobie" is a naughty word, who do you suppose should be to blame? You? Talk radio?
So yesterday, I drove my son to the airport and as we exited onto Airport Blvd, I pulled in behind this fashionable family vehicle. I'm sorry, I didn't have my council-person's number, so I had to take matters into my own hands.
I took a picture of what I saw. I never said a word. When my son realized what I was taking a picture of, he seemed to giggle under his breath, but not so much at what I was taking a picture of, but the fact that his immature 43 year old father found it humorous.
And on my way home from the airport, I was driving north on Bandera Road - yes, even the people of Leon Valley are subject to harsh words - and I spotted this little display.
It wasn't the Lisle and Hahn bumper sticker that caught my eye as much as the sticker above it. Should we outlaw tow trucks too, or simply re-zone them off the highway?The fact is, you can boycott and complain and get upset all you want over things you find offensive, and I say, good for you. But in the end, after you have made an ass of yourself over really insignificant things, some idiot is going to offend you even more with his bumper sticker or his radio commercial.
I'll take a Boobie Rock building that I don't have to ever step foot into over a Viva Viagra TV commercial any day of the week.
Ms. Cibrian: Get a life.
