Friday, July 6, 2007

Shopping Report: HEB Super Mercado

The other day I was coming from downtown SA via Culebra. I may have mentioned it before but I sometimes take this route even though it is slightly longer, because I enjoy the scene as I go from downtown, through the West Side, and somehow transition into where I live all on the same street.

Yes, I'm easily entertained.

My wife called me and suggested that I pick up a bottle of coffee creamer on the way home. We use HEB's Half & Half at a rate of almost a bottle and a half a week, but then again, between me and a cup or two from my wife, we drink about three pots of coffee a day.

Anywho, I often pass this HEB Super Mercado on Culebra and, I think Bandera, and decided to stop in for a look see.

The first thing that makes this HEB different is the fact that there is what appears to be a huge circus tent covering the entire front driveway of the store. Under this tent you can find raspa vendors, vending machines and picnic tables, and as I suspected, the inviting smell of spilled beer and stale urine.

But aside from that festive atmosphere, I liked the idea that this seemed to be a community HEB with friendly people doing their shopping and banking and such.

I only needed to pick up a few items, so my stop was short, but I did find one lady completely obsessed with the Spurs Memorabilia rack. Enough to block people in both directions of the main thoroughfare until I calmly and courteously pulled rank on her and asked her to kindly step aside. She was happy to scoot over but once I left was soon back in the way of others. Nice.

For too many reasons that make sense, I did not bother to take a picture of what I am about to describe, though with proper lighting and a permit, I could have made a full length motion picture; A nice lady of perhaps 35 or 40 in standard mu moo wear, was in line unloading her cart. You already know where I'm going and I shouldn't say more, but as my wife says, once I start writing, I can't seem to shut-up.

Full-on chi-chi action, and it was not a site for the timid.

You have to look. You know you do because it is an oddity. Yes, probably seen at 100 topless beaches Europe or Austin as we speak, but in an HEB, we as common citizens are not prepared for the spectacle of some lady letting her full left boob and a good pound or two of the right, simply hanging loose for public inspection like it was a side of beef hung out for display complete with USDA markings, or in this case, a poorly done neighborhood tattoo, clearly from Junior High or perhaps the All Lady's Prison.

I mean no ill-will toward this lady or her body modifications; but please, a little decorum in the HEB for God's sake.

Anyway, a clean place on the inside, nice and fragrant on the outside; I'd go there again if I needed a raspa.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Mr. Stone!! This used to be my HEB when I was going to school and I wouldn't doubt if I'd run into miss chi-chi as well. Such funny blogs!

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  2. Larry, thanks for your validation of my investigative reporting. There are chi-chi's falling out like fat kids in a parade at that HEB.

    You seem like a smart kid, so avoid eye-contact with large bosoms until marriage.

    Continue to read this blog, and you may learn a thing or two.

    Mr. Stone.

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