Mall Report: Ingram Park...

I don't like to go to the mall but for one reason: JC Penny's and the Men's section. I go there, I buy slacks, I buy shirts, I look at ties and unless they have been drastically reduced, I put them back, and then I go home.

Turns out, there are more stores in the mall, and it further turns out, that my wife has made some sort of relationship with a jewelry store within the center of this mall. In fact, the few pieces of jewelry that I do wear, apparently they came from this place.

Oh, and I paid for it.

So, through various home ownership related do it yourself projects, I had somehow bent the living crap out of my wedding band. I wouldn't otherwise mind, but it was starting to cramp my style. Each time I would bend my fingers it would hurt, so my wife suggested that we go to this "lady she knew" who could "fix it for free".

We get to Gordon's, and my wife whips out a veritable treasure box of official looking documents and certificates, all of which contain proof that they are going to clean and fix my ring, and pronto!

While we wait, the sales lady, whom my wife seems to know with some familiarity, is talking about anniversary rings, dinner broaches, wedding pearls, funeral coins, and 4th of July sparklers. The Hell you say?

Just then as I started to perk up and perhaps look into this conversation, I saw a few receipts pass back between the ladies. The sales lady must have caught my hovering glances just about the time I stood up and said within hearing distance of the pants-man at Penny's, "Sweet Jesus in shorts!"

I had seen first hand dollar signs that seemed to reflect the fact that we hand spent, over a period of years, quite a few dollars at this place. I was assured that this was all paperwork and not to be bothered with by the man of the house, what with my time being better spent creating income that might be better used at paying off jewelry bills.

Sweet. I wonder if they have Ice Cream here?

An hour later, with my wedding band cleaned, sanitized and graded for future possible trade-in value, I walked out of the store with a new watch that not only tells the time, but tells the date. Oh, and this one also tells the day of the week!

And my wife probably got something, but I won't realize it until the shiny rubs off from this new watch.

So, I got that going for me.


(My son looks for something I won't buy him as the kind lady sizes my new watch).