Christmas Eve Spirit: Friendly Mall Patrons...

I just love how people take this special time of the year to bend over backwards in an effort to display goodwill toward their fellow man. How thoughtful of all the shoppers at Ingram Park Mall (why I would even go there is still a mystery), to allow this one person to take two full parking spots for his compact size car.
I know, shoppers everywhere understand the need for a guy in his little Honda to avoid nicks to the paint or the possibility of anyone brushing up against it as they load packages into their own cars. People in our fair village are just that kind and thoughtful.

Frankly, I hope the jerk gets a lump of coal in his stocking, and perhaps a flat tire.

Saturday Report: Odds & Ends...

My wife and I had to make an emergency run to Gordon's Jewelers in Ingram Mall Saturday morning. I don't want to get into specifics of it, but I'm pretty much tired of diamonds falling out of the rings in our house. It isn't like my wife is doing construction or something. We've taken one ring in particular back three times this year to have diamonds replaced, and at some point, a husband just has to put his foot down. So $1,500 later...
While I was standing in Gordon's waiting for those people to take my money, I could not help but notice this fellow working at a place called Soapranos. I don't have the faintest idea what it is they sell, though the thought of soap came to mind. Anyway, this guy was holding a little strip of something, I guess a sample of some sort that he was trying to encourage passersby to sniff, I guess. As I watched this go on, people just kept blowing him off and it was really upsetting the poor guy. He would run from side to side of his kiosk hoping that if he darted out as someone approached, they would feel compelled to stop and sniff his sample. Sniff his sample. Maybe there is a better way to phrase that.
Anyway, during the close to 10 minutes I sat there watching the guy, it was not until we were walking out the door that he trapped someone into sniffing the stuff. The rest of the people either totally acted like he was not there, ignoring him completely, or semi-politely said "No thanks" or gave him the old wrinkled eyebrow look that conveys, "Don't get near me with your sample."

This made me think of those people standing on corners with those big signs trying to get drivers to pull into a business. Either a new home development, a going out of business and everything must go situation or the standard tax preparation service. What do suppose a gig like that pays?
And doesn't seeing Santa just make you want to get your car washed?
Oh, and speaking of cars. I loved this fancy way of mounting the required by law front license plate on a car. It's the new rage. I'm gonna go get some tie-straps and customize my truck today!

We stopped into Cheddar's yesterday just to grab a quick bite and decided on their burgers. At $4.99, I'd say it is a pretty good deal. Anyway, we remembered one time when we went and the french fries were really piled on, so because they charge separate for the fries, we decided to get just one order and share them.
This is the actual order of fries that we received with my burger. Yes, that is a normal, sensible size of fries for a small child eating a Happy Meal, but it was the least amount of fries I have ever seen served, especially considering I had to pay extra! We really laughed when we saw them.
What was funnier was when I asked the waiter to bring out some honey mustard to dip the fries in, he brought enough to slather each individual fry, fully coated, and still have enough left over for a Christmas ham.

The Morning Report: Garden Ridge & Ingram Mall...

I broke one of my personal policies this morning by entering Garden Ridge Pottery anytime after Halloween. For some reason, they transform the place into the smell of cinnamon, and I just don't care for that, at all. But, my wife needed to look for something, so off we went; and I promise, I was prepared to wait outside if need be. But in fact, they must have reduced the cinnamon smell because it just wasn't all that bad.But if you plan to attempt Garden Ridge, you should know that shoppers seem to have trashed the place. My wife commented that everything looked as though it had been picked through. Seriously people, can't you look at something and then place it back on the shelf where it came from?Last night we took a drive around the neighborhood to show our dog Gracie the Christmas lights. I have noticed over the years an increase in the use of these fancy blow-up ornaments and huge globes and such. So standing in Garden Ridge, I witnessed some guy purchase one of these palm tree looking things with a built-in stereo system and flashing lights. It is actually cool; you can connect your iPod to it and play your favorite music. The problem was, it wasn't playing Christmas music at all - it was like a cruise to Jamaica or something and this redneck with a huge beer belly (bigger than mine, in fact) was attempting to do some sort of mambo train dance as his wife hurriedly pushed the shopping cart away from gawking onlookers and the one guy with a camera. Sorry, no footage.

But the point of it is, what happened to just a string of lights and a wreath on the door? Oh, who am I kidding? We have deer and other crap set out in our front yard too.

And if some deer and a big Texas outline that has flashing lights that spell out "Merry Christmas, Y'all" doesn't put you in the mood, surely this will get you going.Oh, and attention Garden Ridge: It is Christmas season. Can we open up more than two cash registers?

------<<>>------

So we had to run to Ingram Park Mall to find something at Kirkland's, but we got there before they opened up. We decided to walk around for a bit, and some lady snagged my wife to demonstrate some Russian style hair flatting device. Okay, I say Russian because they lady had a really thick Russian accent. Anyway, the lady starts messing with my wife's hair and she is being a good sport about it though she tried to walk away several times and was too polite to say, Get off me, bitch! About the time I walk back up to them, I hear the lady telling my wife that the little straightening thing is regularly priced $352.00 but right now, she could let it go for $159.00. I nearly bust a gut trying to throw my laugh in a different direction. My wife was a little more pleasant simply saying, "Oh, hell no!" Seriously, if you saw this thing, you'd be sure it was the same thing they sell at Walgreen's for $19.99. I mean, our economy can't be so jacked-up if people will pay $159 much less $352 to straighten their hair.

------<<>>------

We went in to Kirkland's, got the few items we needed then by chance went down to the Sears just to observe and report as needed.I wonder if they really want you to walk down the blue line, then stand directly in front of the sign until called to the register. Apparently, the lady did not think so.

------<<>>------

After a trip to HEB Plus, we thought we would try out the new Freddy's Frozen Custard place they built on Potranco Road near Highway 151. The place was packed, but we figured we would give it a shot.Not so fast my friends. Apparently, they were just feeding each other because it still isn't open yet. Has anyone ever eaten at one of these places? I am assume it is a chain. What should I order? Tell me about it.

Lunch Report: Bennigan's...

Years ago, I recall Bennigan's as being a leader in the Bar & Grill style chain restaurant, and you could always count on them as a good place to grab some food and a beer - in the same type of format as Chili's, Applebee's and TGI Friday's. I guess about two years ago or so, my wife had a series of bad experiences at the Bennigan's on Cinema Ridge near Ingram Park Mall, and aside from calling the manager as we drove to a competitor, to explain why he lost us as customers, we really had no need to ever call or set foot in the place again. Until this afternoon.I recently purchased one of those fund raiser Entertainment coupon books and figured, if anyone can get $20.00 worth of use in restaurant coupons, we could. So, Bennigan's got their long awaited, much anticipated, second chance from us and, I'm here to tell you, it wasn't bad at all.If you are familiar with this area, you know that right next door to the Bennigan's is Texas Road House. TRH is packed from the minute it opens until it closes, everyday, without exception. Benningan's on the other hand, was seriously empty. Fine by me.

My wife and I both ordered the Guinness Glazed Bacon Cheeseburger. They do serve up some huge burgers, but I have to be honest, I am usually leary of these specialty types of things. For eaxample, I think Applebee's has just totally gone overboard with all the wierd sauces and stuff they put on thier entire menu. At some poiint in time, you just want a burger with a little salt & pepper and some cheese, not all the extra syrup and such.So, we were both surprized when we got these bad boys and bit into them. I have long suspected that the burgers are simply microwaved or something, not actually grilled in the kitchen. Who knows? But however they were made, it turned out to be a pretty descent burger. My wife even started doing her little happy dance in the seat - thankfully no witnesses.

Other than it was good, the only remarkable thing about it was the Guinness Glaze. Good stuff on the burger, and especially good when used as dip for the fries.

The other really important point - and this may have had to do with the fact that aside for one or two folks in the bar, we were the only people in the restaraunt and we had awesome service. Not only did our server attend to our needs, several other people, presumably other servers or floor managers came by to ask how we were doing. Funny, had they done this a few years ago, they would have seen us back sooner.

You are officially free to end your own boycott and give Bennigan's a try.

Mall Report: Apparently, People Still Shop Ingram Park Mall...

My wife and I had an important errand to run Saturday afternoon at 3PM but through the use of modern cellular communications, we were able to learn that we would not be needed downtown until closer to 4PM. Since we were already on the road and since I had a watch that stopped at 11 o'clock (it was closer to 2), I suggested we run into Ingram Park Mall and get a battery for the malciferated watch and kill a little time.

I really only have a handful of reasons that can get me to the mall these days. One is JC Penny's. I like the slacks they sell and more importantly, you can get into Penny's without going into the mall.

There is also a Security Service Credit Union outlet in the mall, so if for some insane reason you need to make a transaction that can't be done at an ATM machine and it is after 5PM, you can go in there. Oh, and it is at the entrance to the mall, so technically, you don't have to go into the mall.

But on this day, we would have to actually go inside the inner bowels of the mall where one must negotiate crowded spaces with undesirable elements of society - teenagers and such. The little kiosk my wife always goes to for watch and jewelry repair is on the lower level, I think where there used to be a Luby's. I'm not sure if it is still there or not. Anyway, Sears is the anchor on that end of the mall.

So the guy there is extremely nice and recognizes my wife right away from the repeat business and takes a quick look at my watch and says he can fix it up in about 15 minutes. So, what this means is, we had to stay in the mall for another 15 minutes.

We did run into Kirklands and buy a picture but then decided that we better eat. Okay, in theory, the concept of the food court is a great idea. You take a dozen or so diverse restaurant outlets, put them in an open space, then provide shared seating so that people in the same party can eat different foods but sit together. The problem with this is, you have to sit with other people. Mall people.

If you ever have a poor body image, feel as though you are too overweight, have a bad complexion, don't dress right, or are generally ugly, I'd like to offer up a little advice. Take a day trip to the food court and Ingram Park Mall some weekend and I promise, you will come out of there feeling like you could win the Miss Teen USA contest without having to know where America is on a map. You can ask my wife; I'm no fancy dresser and once, I was able to leave the house wearing white socks and sandals (much to the embarrassment of my wife), but after mingling with the people at this food court, I actually looked reasonable.

One word people: Mirror. Look at yourself in the mirror and if it looks good to you, you need to change. That's right. If you are one of the men I saw at the food court yesterday who looked in the mirror at your Capri pants and said, "I look good being a man wearing Capri's" you are no longer able to trust your own instincts. I know gay people who think that men who wear Capri's look too gay to be seen in public.

Okay, so we were in the food court and my wife had a hankerin' for Chic-Fil-A . No thanks. So while she was rounding up some of that, I saw this place that sells Philly Cheese Steaks. I looke over the menu and I saw that they also sell a Muffuletta.

The Muffuletta's I know about come on a big round piece of bread and have some sort of olive salad on the bottom, then covered with the meats and cheeses. This one came on a sub bun, and there was no hint or discussion of olives at all. It was simply some fried salami or something with cheese melted on it. So, in the same way that Subway asks you what toppings you would like on it, I asked the lady for some black olives to go on my fried bologna sandwich.

Hell, I ought to be a sandwich creator because the end result was pretty darn tasty. I ate the entire thing without complaint, other than it wasn't what I thought I was ordering.

In the meantime, my wife and I used the time to observe the unfortunate people put upon this earth to congregate in a place for the sole purpose of providing us reason to feel better about our looks. We aren't shallow people, we just use the tools we are given.