Friday: Rain, Pizza, Pasta, Fish, Church, TV's and Vagrants....

Do you remember earlier this week when it was just raining cats and dogs? Great Googly-Moogly! It just so happened that the timing was pretty awesome because my wife had tracked down one of those guys that sits on the corner in a truck with a flatbed trailer full of sod. So, she had him bring over a couple of pallets worth to cover the mistake we made when we tilled up the backyard only to make the weeds grow better.

Anyway, with the grass firmly in place, the sky opened up and we had two solid days of rain, and though that left for crappy driving and lots of closed roads, but the grass is starting to take, and I like that. I should have taken a picture to show here, but I didn't think about it until now and it is already dark outside. Sorry.

So anyway, it was during the first day of rain when I didn't fully appreciate that the tiny little break in downpour wasn't the end of it. I had suggested to my wife that we drive about three miles south on Culebra to that Joe's Pizza & Pasta place that I had misled people into believing was open. A drive that would normally take just a few minutes, even during heavy traffic took us almost half an hour. Of course, it is always fun to blame it on crappy drivers, but in fact, the street lights at both Westover Hills Blvd and Old Grissom were out. Not flashing Red or Yellow, just out!

So, we finally get into this Joe's place and get out of the truck in the now, once again pouring rain. We can see the lights on in the place and even can see tables with place settings on them. Sure enough, as I pulled on the door to open it, I could see taped to the inside of the mirrored glass the sign that says they are closed for two weeks.

The worst part of it is, as we were pulling out, another couple was pulling on the same door we had and reading the sign. I told my wife that I sure hoped they hadn't gone to try the place on my lousy information! They looked a lot hungrier than we did. 'Course, I generally look like I just ate a big meal anyway, so that doesn't mean a whole lot.

It doesn't end there though. We decided that heading back up Culebra with all the jacked-up traffic mess was not the way to go, so we decided to go west on Potranco toward Highway 151 in hopes of finding some vittles. And as we were driving, of course the traffic people come on the radio and tell us that there is a huge wreck at Potranco and 151. That would explain the back-up.

So we cut through Richland Hills, over to Wiseman Road and picked up 151 just before 1604. It occurs to me that readers unfamiliar with San Antonio have no idea what I am even talking about here. Suffice it to say, we took a big huge circle and another half an hour to get through the rain and traffic to end up at the new Pizza Hut on Grissom and Timber Path, not a quarter mile from Silver Creek 78250!

You'll recall we ate at this Pizza Hut before. This time, we decided to skip the pizza itself and split one of those special Supremo sandwiches. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT waste your time on the Supremo. I've had bologna sandwiches that were better. But we do love that cheese bread they serve. As we were sitting there waiting for our food, I looked across the street and could see Mr. Cod through the rain. I casually mentioned to my wife that we should give them another try, now that they have been in business for several months without closing down.

I guess that was the hint my wife needed because when I walked in the door this afternoon, she was ready for a fish sandwich. Instead of taking a long circuitous route around San Antonio, we drove straight from the house to Mr. Cod and both ordered the #5 which is a fish sandwich, fries and a drink.
I have to tell you, while it was a bit of a wait (they don't cook your stuff 'til you order it), it was a welcome surprise. The fish sandwich is huge and served on very fresh bread like a submarine sandwich or something. And it was fully cooked!
As usual, the place is remarkably clean and the owner recognized my wife from our first visits back when they opened.
The fries are different now. These are not what I recall as the "chips" they served originally. I guess that just didn't go over well. But they were hot, not over cooked, and good, especially with malt vinegar on them. Of course, as they say on the Internet, your mileage may vary.

Hey, I don't want to make a big deal of this and I'm only even posting it because I found the whole thing to be kind of odd - even strange.

I was on my way home from Home Depot (which I'll tell you about in a minute) and I was driving down Timber Path through Emerald Valley, The Commons, and Ridge Creek on my way to Silver Creek. Anyway, I saw several of these bandit signs dotting the landscape. Besides the fact that these signs are against San Antonio city code and against our HOA deed restrictions, I wasn't ready to pull over and start tossing them into my truck for later disposal.

But when I was at the stoplight at Tezel and Timber Path, I got a close enough view to read the sign. Apparently, this Origin Church is setting up shop at Fernandez Elementary School. Even then, I thought perhaps it was just some sort of rummage sale or something like that, but I went to the web page and sure enough, according to their own web page, Fernandez Elementary is their new home.

Now don't attempt to paint me as one of those separation of church and state people. It's crap like that that makes our students come home saying things like Winter Festival instead of Christmas or Fall Celebration instead of Thanksgiving. But are you serious? Has the North side Independent School District gotten so short of cash that we are now renting out the school as a church on weekends? WTF?

Oh, I had to stop into Home Depot today to grab some sheetrock for a project I'm working on. I always save time when I leave by driving back behind Home Depot and HEB and Party City so I can avoid all the traffic of people darting out into the parking lot and such.

There is this little patch of trees where I occasionally see panhandlers taking a break and sipping a quart before they had back out to the Alamo Ranch intersection at 1604 and Culebra to relieve you charitable types (fools) of your hard earned change. (I'm just kidding; I pass out five dollar bills to the unfortunate vagrants all the time.)*
Anyway, I spotted this TV parked up on that little clearing and thought to myself, I wonder where they plug it in. Strange.

*I was kidding the second time. Don't give money to these people, they really drive Cadillacs and drink better beer than I do.

The Lowe's Report: Outstanding Customer Service...

I don't really care one way or another about which Home Center I shop at - Lowe's or Home Depot, because for the most part, they carry the same stuff, the employees are interchangeable as far as expertise on product line, and the prices are roughly the same. I love the fact that when one opens, the other is usually going to open up within a few blocks. This keeps them both on their toes and that is good for all of us.

But, my wife was insistent that I pass along this bit of really good customer service she received at Lowe's in Alamo Ranch, so, as Monk might say, "Here is what happened".

Last Saturday, we went to Lowe's and purchased over $250.00 worth of stuff. Most of it was garden related items - things like plants and grass seed and things that are pretty much not something you can easily return.

For example, it is a fairly good bet that even if I had the bag, I could not go out into the yard with tweezers and pick up all of the grass seed that we threw out into the dirt. Hell, the birds easily ate a quarter of it already. And even though technically, I could dig up the plants and shrubs we bought, it would take a lot to motivate me to do that.

So on Sunday, we went back to Lowe's to purchase a few more things when the lady at the register mentioned the coupon cards that came in the Sunday paper. I think one was for $10 off on a $50 purchase and another was for $25 off on a $250 purchase. I immediately said nothing of our purchase the day earlier for fear that my wife would have me out in the back yard with tweezers and a shovel. But she, on the other hand, looked at the cashier and said, "You have got to be shittin' me."

So, long story short, today, my wife grabbed up the receipt and the coupon card from the paper and went back to Lowe's, prepared to do battle with all levels of management if need be. I promise, you'd best be going to lunch about now, when she is determined.

Instead, upon hearing the circumstances, the lady in the returns department did a full refund on all the items - in spite of the fact that all the grass seed and the plants and potting soil and bushes and such were still in my back yard. And then she re-rang them up to make them qualify for the coupon.

Oh, and get this. Because the price on several of the items had gone on sell since we purchased them, they refunded the difference in price of those items. In the end, when everything was rung back up at the new lower prices, the total was less than the $250 which would qualify for the $25.00 off. So, my wife had the cashier add in four more Bougainvilleas (at the lower price) to get back up to $250, and thus, get the $25.00 off.

Bottom Line: They easily could have said something crappy like, bring in all the items - track down the birds and make them regurgitate the seeds - and really make it difficult, but instead, the representative, Ms. Jeri, simply made the whole experience something worth passing along.

So there you have it. Kudos to Lowe's in Alamo Ranch. Your great customer service will have us coming back.

Texas House Bill 218: My View...

I have a neighbor and fellow neighborhood volunteer who is very good about sending me information regarding various community activities that may be of interest. He passes along things such as invitations to Meet the Candidates nights, town hall meetings and information on classes being given by the city. I try to post the messages on the GNWatch Blog so people interested in the information can find it.

Several days ago, he sent me a notice about a Texas State Bill being sponsored by our representative, Jose Menendez. You can find the entire text of the bill here, but the short text is:

Excerpt: REGULATION OF SALE OF AEROSOL PAINT; SURCHARGE. (a) A county by order or a municipality by ordinance may require a person who sells aerosol paint to: (1) require proof of identification from the buyer before making a sale to that buyer; and (2) record the sale, including the identification information, in a log and maintain the log for at least two years after the date of the sale. (d) An order or ordinance adopted under this section may require a surcharge not to exceed one dollar on each ...

I have had the pleasure of meeting (if you consider shaking hands and briefly chatting, “meeting”) Representative Menendez several times over the years. First when he was running for the District 6 City Council seat at one of those candidate debates at Anson Jones Middle School, and another time at Westwood Terrace Elementary School. During those times, I was really impressed with him, especially when another candidate questioned his resume, and Jose was quick to whip out a certificate showing the degree being questioned.

Later, as he was walking the neighborhood campaigning, he happened upon my wife and I working in the garage of the house we had just purchased in Silver Creek, and he told us how we had bought the house right out from under him! He was a good sport about it, but really, what do you say? Uh, sorry.

So long story short, though I’m sure there are issues that I wouldn’t agree on 100 percent, like when he was among the group of legislators who left Texas to avoid having a quorum, I have repeatedly voted for Jose Menendez because I think he is an overall good representative and means to do positive things for our district.

After receiving the e-mail from my neighbor, I read through the proposed legislation put forth by Rep Menendez and I had to send a response back telling him that I totally oppose this effort. Yes, graffiti and specifically tagging is a problem. Not just in our neighborhood, city or in the state of Texas; it is everywhere. I applaud the efforts of people to address the problem, but seriously, this proposal is nothing more than “feel good”, “look at us, we are doing something” crap.

Let’s think this out. They want places like Home Depot or Lowes to check your ID when you buy a can of spray paint. Then they want them to log your name and keep a record of the transaction for 2 years. Then they want you to pay up to one dollar per can. Attention foes of the Patriot Act: feel free to pipe in now.

Forget the extra tax on the paint (to be used for what?); now people at hardware stores have to go through all this extra nonsense just to be in compliance with the law, when the fact is, it does nothing to stop tagging. I'm sure that will lower prices in a tough economy.

Think about this: The police show up to the crime scene. Someone has sprayed black paint on a fence. Does the officer call out the CSI people to come and do an analysis of the paint to determine where it came from? What store sold it? Let’s say hypothetically that the tagger leaves the can of spray paint on the ground and it actually identifies the Home Depot brand. Which Home Depot does the officer go to, and then, what does he look for once he has the list of all the people who purchased a can of spray paint in the last two years? Now, count the number of times there is a new fence tagged in San Antonio everyday. And times in the state of Texas, every day. Keep in mind; we are still talking about a misdemeanor.

I’m sure Rep Menendez means well, but this is bad legislation and does nothing, zero, notta, to solve the problem. So what do we need?

For starters (and there are other efforts underway to pursue this), we need to put first time offenders, regardless of age, in jail, even if it is only for a few nights. We need to make the offender (and parents of juveniles) liable for the damage. We need to tie the amount of that damage to all of a taggers combined offenses, not just the one he was caught doing. In other words, if a guy is known as “Joe the Tagger” and he has marked up buildings and fences over a period of a year with a JTT symbol and is finally caught, he should be required to be held accountable for all the damage that can be reasonably proven to have been caused by him. This is why I always take pictures of the graffiti in my area. And I have a huge collection.

I am a fan of community service, but I oppose community service being tied to anything that the offender would otherwise be doing. For example, I have heard that some judges will assign a number of hours of community service to an offender, to be carried out in that offender’s church. Really? If a kid is in the Scouts, don’t give him community service that will help him get a few more merit badges. Community service must be meaningful and pay restitution to the community harmed.

I think convicted taggers including first offenders should have their pictures displayed on a web page. Adults and Minors. If the newspaper can print the picture of the student of the week, there is simply no excuse that we should not know which teens amongst us are convicted taggers. More importantly, we need to know which parents have kids that are convicted taggers. In the same way you can go online and do a search by Zip code to find out who the registered sex offenders are in your neighborhood, I want to be able to go on-line and see a picture of the kid who tags, and what his known tagging signature is. That way, if it shows up again on a fence, everyone knows who did it. I suspect that will create a far better deterrent than paying a dollar extra for a can of spray paint.

I am a huge fan of peer pressure. I would like to know what our schools are doing about ostracizing the taggers in the same way they teach children about how bad their parents are for smoking or drinking? If a tagger is caught defacing a school, in addition to whatever other trouble the kid gets into, his face needs to be plastered on the wall as a vandal. For some, this will surely be a badge of honor, however, this type of thing can motivate parents to keep an eye on their own kids. Not that most of these parents attend PTA meetings, but if as part of one of those meetings, the school police officer listed a who’s who of taggers with associated markings, other parents might recognize similar tagging in the neighborhood and be prompted to let the parents know about it. The last thing a parent wants is the neighbor coming over to tell them that Little Jimmy has been tagging the fence again.

If people want to spend tax money on something beyond arresting these offenders, why not spend it on MTV? Better yet, why don’t MTV and other youth oriented media have ongoing campaigns to deglamorize this vandalism? Instead of “Rock the Vote”, how about, “Beat the crap out of the tagger!” I’d approve of that message. I know that the city of San Antonio has Graffiti eradication programs to try to get youth to move from tagging toward art. That’s fine, but much of the problem is not artistic in any way at all, it is pure vandalism and marking of gang (or wannabe gang) territory. Why no public service announcements on local TV showing taggers to be the losers they are?

When do we stop simply painting over the vandalism and start doing something about it? I have learned that this type of vandalism isn’t something that the police are going to send multiple squad cars, blaring sirens, and sealing off streets and neighborhoods as helicopter flies overhead doing a search with K9 units going house to house. Yet, this vandalism is systematically creating the appearance of a deteriorating neighborhood and lowering the values of homes. Many good families are opting to leave rather than stay. Many homes are purchased as investment properties and rented out increasingly as Section 8 homes, bringing in people who often do not have the financial wherewithal to maintain a home beyond the minimal rent they pay.Meanwhile, I call the city of San Antonio at least once a week (usually several times) to report that Oscar Perez Memorial Park has been tagged again. The city Parks Department sends a crew out, the tagging is painted over and more often than not, the next day, some new tagging is present.The city built some sort of small baseball diamond park right next to Nelson Wolff Municipal Stadium on Callaghan Road near Hiway 90. I pass this place on my way to work each morning and after over a year, I notice that they still have one of these surveillance systems installed. This system is monitored and it will light up with spotlights, sirens and verbal warnings if someone trespasses. You see these things in use at a lot of construction sites. Don’t you think it is time that the city start installing these things in areas, like Oscar Perez Memorial Park, so we can begin to identify the taggers, or heaven forbid, deter them from tagging the park in the first place?

I’m sure there are many other productive ways to deal with this growing problem but I got a suggestion from my brother who is a big fan of caning. We are reminded of that kid in Singapore several years ago who was caught and convicted of tagging and vandalism. The punishment: caning. I suspect that kid never tagged there again.

My brother’s idea is slightly different. What is missing from the current process is the punishment factor. A kid is sent to see a judge for truancy or maybe even tagging. The judge orders the kid to go to school and perform some community service hours. My brother suggests that each courtroom be assigned a professional spanker. That is, a guy who is certified to assess body size, weight, muscular structure etc, and then equipped to deliver an exact, certified paddling to the offender, in front of courtroom spectators. The first appearance in court would result in two solid whacks. Each subsequent appearance would add two more whacks. If a kid gets up to 8 or 10 whacks, he is surely ready for some jail time. Just a thought. I know, the days of corporal punishment are long gone, but we can dream.

My wife will tell you that I am overly passionate about this subject. I tend to be long winded and my blood pressure tends to elevate each time I talk to a person about the problem of tagging in our area and in our city. In truth, I could simply turn a blind eye to it like many others have. I could pretend that the little scribbling along fences I drive past adds a sort of artistic urban flavor to the place. After all, these are just young people looking for an outlet, right? I don’t mean to pick on Rep. Menendez’ attempts to do something, but I’m afraid he has neither researched this topic adequately, nor added anything useful toward the fight.

I do not believe that most of the taggers get their paint at Home Depot. I believe it comes from art stores, via the internet and in local stores that have nothing to do with hardware. I’m sure some of it comes from the garages and sheds of unsuspecting parents, grandparents and neighbors. Putting yet another requirement on businesses that ultimately will yield very little change is in my mind, the wrong approach. I encourage you to do a little research on your own. Google is your friend; type in “Graffiti Supplies” and learn more. And do like me, and take a minute to send Representative Menendez your thoughts on how we might better handle this problem.

And of course, you can tell me your ideas.

Recycle Report: Birdbath Planter...

It was a pretty productive weekend around here with lots of yard work and other activities. For instance, while I was busy rebuilding a portion of my deck out back, my wife was busy cleaning up a cracked bird bath by turning it into something useful (as opposed to just tossing it out into the middle of the green belt).This is the business end of a bird bath that belonged to my in-laws Lord knows how many years ago, and when they got a new one, we took it (just because my wife couldn't bear to let it go). Anyway, as you can see, it has a crack like the Liberty Bell, and as a result of this little defect, you'd have to be an early bird to get as much as a sip before the water escapes. In other words, it is pretty useless as a dispenser of refreshing cool water on a hot day.So, whipping out a can of white spray paint - proof that adults actually do purchase spray paint for projects other than tagging - my wife went to town on covering the old cement piece so it would look a little cleaner.We flipped it over, gave a few more coats for good measure.Then, like magic, some soil, a few cacti or succulents as the sign at Home Depot called them...And topped off with some rocks to give it a final touch.

Big Deck Report: All Wet...

I think we can all agree that any rain is most welcome, so I'm not complaining or anything. But... I did just stain my deck yesterday afternoon thinking that perhaps we could go a full 24 hours without another downpour.

The goofy thing is, this little quick and easy project was a fiasco from the word go.

I zip down to Home Depot and grab a can of Thompson's deck stain with the idea that I would use my pump sprayer to apply a nice thin coat. Of course, I get the pump sprayer from the shed, fill it up with Thompson's, pump it up and commence to do nothing. I guess the sprayer part of the pump sprayer is jacked up.

If you own a pump sprayer, you know that once you pump it up, there is a lot of pressure built up. If you turn the handle too quickly, the stain or bug spray or whatever is in the pump will no kidding, spray everywhere, but mostly directly into your face. I know this from a previous experience.

So, I slowly and gently relieved the pressure, only receiving a slight misting along the bottom of my shorts and knees. That will give you a golden tan for sure.

Anyway, the stain can also be applied by brush or roller, so I busted out a bucket, grabbed a roller and commenced to rolling. The only problem is, I didn't have a roller screen or a tray to really thin out the amount of stain going onto the roller itself. This meant that perhaps a third of my stain went directly into the cracks between the boards and now the dirt and rocks under my deck also have a nice golden tan.

Oh, there was one other issue. As soon as I had rolled about three or four feet of deck, I realized that the "Natural Cedar Color" that I expected to be fairly clear, was actually no kidding, a color. And it looked sort of orange.

My wife was inside watching TV at this point in time, so I was hoping to work quickly and finish as quick as possible and not mention it to her until perhaps later in the evening.

And just about the time I had half the deck finished, I ran out of Thompson's. And that was about the time my wife walked out on the patio and gave me the look. Instead of simply telling me how horrible the deck looked, she told me how horrible it looked and offered to get the power washer to start washing it off! How thoughtful.

I assurred her that once the stain soaked in and dried, it would have more of a natural cedar appearance.

I made my way back to Home Depot to buy another can. Oh, did I mention that I had purchased the last gallon of the Thompson's Natural Cedar Color? Instead, there was a different Thompson's product that was just a few dollars more and it also was some form of Cedar shade. But as soon as I got home and opened it up, I could tell immediately that it was darker.

I also had purchased a roller tray so at least, I figured, I wouldn't be slopping it on so heavily - maybe that would make it lighter.

I finished the second half of the deck and immediately realized that in spite of putting it on thinner than the first gallon, this was clearly darker than the first. So what would you do? I quickly re-did the first half of the deck with the new color, and to be honest, I'm pretty pleased with the final color, even though it was not at all planned.So, 24 hours later, rain and all, here is the deck. I personally like the color. And my wife didn't bust out the power washer while I was at work today, so maybe she can live with it.

I'm Not a Happy Camper Report:

A few years ago, I used to frequent my local San Antonio version of Craig's List in the Rants and Raves section. The idea was, you could Rant or Rave about whatever, and it was a great release. I recall writing a long entry about a visit to a McDonald's and all of the characters I encountered while attempting to obtain a simple breakfast. It was very well received by the participants of R&R at the time, but not quite a Best Of. Interestingly enough, there is only one person from San Antonio to ever make CL's Best Of list, and that honor belongs to a friend of mine. I shan't provide a link, but you could probably find it if you looked.

Anyway, this isn't about Craig's List. In fact, I stopped frequenting the place because the San Antonio R&R turned into a racist, homophobic, anti-W, anti-Republican, anti-Black, anti-Mexican, anti-White, anti-Conservative, anti-Obama or Hillary or McCain, and anti-Mature forum for what amounted to a bunch of internet hooligans, or in my mind, the equivalent of taggers, but with less creativity.

But I do need to rant for just a moment and I hope you won't mind me taking a jaunt from my usual discussions of neighborhood watch meetings and restaurant reviews to just tell you a few things about my day.

San Antonio is a furnace this time of year, and it hasn't even gotten hot yet. Seriously, talk to me in August if you think a June day of 98 degrees makes you sweat in places you didn't know you could sweat from. If you aren't used to this, you may want to wear diapers.So my mother-in-law lives in an older home without central A/C. She has roughly 5 or 6 window units placed strategically throughout her home to allow the place to be habitable. The most important one, the one in the kitchen that serves the dining room as well, simply went Tango Uniform which resulted in a call to my office today. Need to obtain new unit and install ASAP!

I suggested that my wife run to the Home Depot near our house and grab a new unit, then I'd come home from work, change clothes and we would extract the old one, and insert the new one. My wife grabbed her Mom's Visa, went to the Home Depot and found that the particular unit advertised in the flyer, a 15,000 BTU, 110V unit was not available. No problem says the expert working the area where the A/C's are located. Take this 18,000 BTU 208/230V unit. The one with the funny plug.

My wife is no stranger to appliances or electricity and she asked Mr. H. Depot if the 18,000 BTU unit would run on a 110 circuit. Sure it will, he reported, just purchase this new electrical outlet with the horizontal look, and you can plug it right in. So my wife asked him again if he was sure. And, he was genuinely sure.

So, we both get home about the same time, me switching into my shorts and my wife pulling into the driveway with an A/C unit ready for a window with a 220V plug, in the back of her truck and I say, "What dumbass told you this would work?" And she pointed to the guy at Home Depot.

So in the back of my mind, I'm thinking this is an honest mistake. Maybe the guy misunderstood her electrical requirements, the question about the funny plug and the difference between 110 and 220.

We go back to Home Depot, get credit on my mother-in-law's Visa for over $300 dollars, then proceed to the A/C section. My wife points out the dumbass manning the position, providing insight to customers such as, "To check for electricity in your sockets, insert a butter knife into the holes."

Wait, that's what I told my kids when they were little. (Happy Father's day).

My wife begins to verbally abuse this guy for being a total retard and he commences to tell her that, all you have to do is swap out the outlet, and it will work. Yea, part of it may work, dumbass.

Look, I'm not an electrician and I didn't stay at Holiday Inn Express last night, but I have done a little wiring in my time. Hell, just yesterday, I replaced the triple A battery on the igniter switch to my gas grill. I'm sure that Home Depot sent this genius to a few classes in order to sell boxes full of A/C units to unsuspecting people that didn't make it beyond the Electrical Engineering Merit Badge in Cub Scouts, without having Grandma singe the curtains on her new window unit. Neither of us are experts, but I am pretty confident that Bob Vila would have simply called in Norm Abrahm on this deal, and the two of them would have bitched slapped A/C boy into next week.

I on the other hand, asked him to explain to me how he could extract the required 220 from the 110 wire, simply by changing the outlet receptacle. He then explained in great detail that I simply needed to have the proper gauge wire. And I could check the wire gauge by connecting a voltage meter to it. WTF?

Can somebody please contact the Home and Garden TV police? I seriously nearly burst a vessel. Am I on crack or is not the gauge of the wire pretty much the thickness? Yes, you need a thicker gauge of wire to handle 220 versus 110, but don't you need some more voltage or amps or something coming into the outlet in question, along with the thicker wire?

Okay, so we left the 1604 and Culebra Home Depot and went to the one closer to my mother-in-law's house by 151 and Loop 410. We go in, grab the 15,000 BTU unit and head to the check-out. My wife swipes her mother's Visa and the alarm sounds and the lady at the register asks for her ID. My wife then explains that the card is her mother's and presents the receipt from the other Home Depot and asks why they never asked for any ID at the one by our house? The lady didn't have an answer, but to her credit (no pun intended), she would not accept the card.I busted out my card, bought the A/C and am happy to let my wife and her mom figure out the details.

Okay: So I love Home Depot, but seriously - this was not a banner day for the one by my house. Oh, turns out they are building a Lowes, just across the street in Alamo Ranch. Think about it.

Okay, I don't mean to be a whiner here, but on the way home, we decided to stop at the KFC by my house. We get into line in the drive-thru behind this guy in a car that seriously would make Al Gore film a movie. The car was blowing out white smoke like like it was the opening to a Foghat concert or something.So we wait in line behind this eco-terrorist (or maybe, anti-eco-terrorist, who knows?) and the people at KFC simply never take our order, and the line ain't moving. After more than five minutes, I finally told my wife I had a hankering for Bill Millers, and we exited the drive-thru line.

Minutes later, we pull into my neighborhood, and sure enough, the white-cloud producing car is only a few car lengths in front of us and turns out he lives only a street or two over from us. Nice. No wonder my yard is turning brown.

So there you have it. I'm all Ranted out. What pissed you off today? Tell me about it.

Yard Work Report: Need a Rake?

My wife and I spent the day at her mom's house so we could help out with a few chores that needed to be done. The city is supposed to start brush pick-up in her neighborhood Monday, so we went over for some tree trimming, fence mending, pecan picking, and a little entertaining rake repairing.By the time we arrived, my brother-in-law Junior, had made quite a project of the deforestation of the yard. The house, over in the Lackland area of town, has pecan trees, front and back. But, many of them have outlived their pecan life and the branches fall without warning. So, some major trimming had to occur.

My big project involved the replacing of an old gate with an older gate. I know, doesn't really make sense, but what the heck. A few months back, I had built a new gate for my own privacy fence with the intentions of throwing the old one out with our brush collection. My mother-in-law saw it and said it would be perfect to replace one on the back of her yard. She has a small section on the side of her shed that we often store old wood and stuff in, and the gate covers the ugliness from view. Plus, when some people drink beer, they often get the urge to pee outdoors, and that little closed area allows them the freedom to be one with nature, but not offend anyone else. I know what you are thinking, and no, I prefer to use any of the three "regular" facilities available. I can't take my wife anywhere. Just kidding.So, the gist of it is, I pulled off the old gate with no problem but found that the new old gate was a bit wider and heavier and was going to need some heavy duty hinges. So, a trip to Home Depot, then a trip to my house to grab my circular saw, and we were in business.During the course of all this work, my wife and her sister started picking up pecans. This led to Junior throwing a leaf rake into the tree so as to shake loose some of the pecans. The end result was that my mother-in-law's favorite gardening tool was damaged during the turbulent flight into one of the unforgiving and unyielding tree branches.Junior made a valiant attempt at hiding the damaged rake from view, but my wife promptly ratted him out to the mother-in-law, and over the next hour or so, he began a rather unorthodox attempt at repairing the yard implement.Luckily, my late father-in-law Nando, was always good for having some spare screws, washers and other assorted items handy in his workshop, so Junior had all he needed, provided his imagination held out.

In the meantime, my sister-in-law's husband Armando, used a plastic spatula tied to a rope to lasso a dead branch from the tree and pull it down. Everyone cheered when on his 7th or 8th attempt, he found success.My son watched from mid tree.Naturally, we couldn't let this day pass without some vittles, so the grill was lit and we threw on some chicken, ribs, and a few burgers for good measure.Armando repaired an extension cord that had seen better days.Finally, after several screws, a few pieces of hardware and lots of sheer determination, Junior had successfully put the rake back into clean, dry, and serviceable order. And he even took it for a test drive to prove it.The only problem is, it requires safety gloves, eye protection and a hard hat to use it, due to the China-like refusal to follow any acceptable OSHA standards!

Arts & Crafts Report: Challenge Coin Holder

My wife has been bugging me to build a display rack for our growing collection of challenge coins. If you aren't familiar with what these are, you can learn about them here.

I had always been more of coffee mug and later, shot glass collector during my years in the military, but toward the end of my career, people started giving out coins more frequently. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that the coins can be made for a lot less money with new technology. Now, most military units and often commanders and First Sergeant's have unique coins to give out as mementos.

Anyway, between me and my kids, we have a few worth looking at from time to time and my wife wanted to have a display for them. We had seen a display for sale for about $75.00 and I casually said I could make one for a lot less.

Note to self: Shut up.

Okay, so after lots of gentle reminders by my wife, she coerced me into a trip to Home Depot to buy wood. I wanted to build one in oak but thought it might be smart to create a "practice" version in cheaper wood. What follows is what I did:First, I had to bust out a few tools I haven't used in a while. Notice the table? We bought that at a garage sale on Saturday for $5.00. What a deal. Also, notice the box of router bits? My wife bought them for me two or three Christmas's ago. This was the first time I used one of them. And of course, the bit I needed broke half-way through the project, so I had to run back to Home Depot to grab a new bit.Anyway, the design was to create two rows of slots to hold coins, then stack the boards on top of each other to create three levels. After that, I screwed the boards together (I couldn't find the wood glue, so I used screws). Then, a little stain action.And finally, put the coins up for display.I really wanted to do this one for practice so I wouldn't ruin a good piece of wood, but since my wife was happy with this version, I'd say it was done quick and easy.

What did you build this weekend? Tell me about it.

Ceiling Update: Half Way There

The thought of doing Sheetrock just makes my knees hurt. But I am by nature, one cheap bastard. Therefore, yesterday afternoon, prior to the expected downpour, I ran over to Home Depot to grab a piece of Sheetrock. Good move.

Today, during what appeared to be a torrential downpour of Global Warming proportions - in other words, it could happen anytime really, but I want you to get the idea that it was really, really, really raining badly - I went back to Home Depot and bought several more essential items for the task.

Just a quick point about people at Home Depot in a rainy situation. I fully understand that it was raining and I'm sure that you parked under the covered "Loading Only" driveway because you intended to load yourself into your car once you made the big gallon of paint purchase, but seriously, do you have to park your car so that nobody can get in behind you or around you? Never mind; it just isn't worth explaining.

Okay, so I came home, and the following pictures show the progress to date.
You can see I added a few planks of wood in the hole just to have some additional places to screw the new Sheetrock into.
And there is the new piece in place.
Notice how I removed some of the existing acoustic ceiling "popcorn" from the edge? This is so I can float out my crappy edge.
And this is the first of several coats of mud I'll put on it, trying to make it smooth. I'll sand too. That ought to make a nice picture - me all dusty.

Appliance Replacement Report: Burnt House Averted; New Dishwasher Installed

I wandered down the stairs this morning to let the dogs out and to get the coffee going when I heard the sound of the dishwasher motor running and immediately hitting a wall of the smell of burnt plastic, I might have asked myself if a burglar had entered the home and turned on our dishwasher at 6 in the morning, but it was pretty clear, to me anyway, that my wife was tired of our kitchen and was seeking to remodel via fire.

Or maybe not.

But, with positive intentions before heading off to bed last night, the dishwasher did get turned on and unfortunately, the switch got stuck at the very beginning of the cycle at the precise moment where the system is supposed to heat up, turn on the motor and in a second or two, start shooting water into the wash tub. It made it as far as heating up and turning on the motor. So, aside from the burnt dishes and awful smell, we avoided any further damage, though a new dishwasher would be required.

So, after quickly removing the old dishwasher and hauling it out to the sidewalk (where it would only last an hour or so), my wife and I headed off to grab a cheap new dishwasher. I figured an hour there and back, another hour to install the new one and off to another fun filled Sunday of doing something.

I buy all my appliances from Conn's, and more specifically, the junk/return outlet over on 410 at Loemans Village. Call me a cheapskate, but I hate to pay an extra $100 - $300 just to get something in a sealed cardboard box that I will have to cut into small pieces and hope that the nice garbageman hauls away.

Even though I shop there a lot, I have to tell you that I find salespeople at Conn's to be of the same caliber as Used Car Salesmen. Please don't be offended if you sell cars or appliances; I mean you no disrespect, but instead, I have to confess that I simply do not enjoy the game. And it is a game.

Yes, I know when I walk in the door and you start chasing me that you know, that I know, that you know, that I am purposely not looking at you and in fact, I am walking as far away from the item I want to purchase so that when you finally do corner me and start telling me what a great deal you have on TV's, I can look like a dumbass and say, "Oh, is this the TV section? I need a can opener."

I know, I'm an asshole but I just want to go into a store, have as little interaction with you as possible, pay the bill and leave. Please don't take it personal. I don't.

I have seen that movie Fargo, and I know that when you go back to talk to the manager about getting a better deal, you are really going back to the office, taking a quick look at the sports section in the paper, perhaps squeezing out a few beer-farts from a night of heaving drinking, and coming back to give me the great news. Oh, and the men are worse. They always want to be real friendly and such. I mean, it isn't like I'm buying a freakin ' house here, I just need an appliance. We don't have to go through introductions and such anymore than we would if I came in to buy a Whopper at Burger King.

I'm probably making too much of this, aren't I?

Okay, so we get the dishwasher and as I'm paying for it and turning down all the usual add-ons like warranties and installation and delivery and such, the nice salesman tells me that he has never installed a dishwasher before and asks how long it will take me. Having installed more than a handful in my time, I tell him we'll be back to burning plastic in an hour or so. And technically, had I installed it correctly the first two times, we would have.

There is a Home Depot right behind the Conn's, so I stopped in there to purchase a little brass fitting needed for the installation. Thankfully, on my third trip to Home Depot to get the parts I really needed, I was able to return the fittings from the first trip.

Technically, there is nothing hard about replacing a dishwasher. There is electricity, there is water coming into the machine and there is water going out. Basically, you got three things to unhook, then hook right back up. Given that we are only talking 110 here, you don't really even have to turn off the electricity, until you get shocked the second time. And, technically, you can use the same water pipes; you know, just disconnect the old and plug it into the new one. The problem is, these dishwasher makers don't have the common courtesy to place all the connections in the same exact place on each machine.

Copper tubing is actually pretty fragile. I mean, if it doesn't line up exactly and you start trying to bend it to make it fit, there is a good chance that you will make too much of a crease in it and water will simply spray out all over the place. Just ask me.

Yea, so practice makes perfect. I mean, again, in technical terms, you don't have to be a mechanical engineer to do this. But if you are going to try to slide the old one out and put the new one in without replacing the parts, prepare to get dirty. Hell, even my wife took a stab at fitting her little hands under the washer to try to line up the pipes.

In the end, I went to purchase a new hose which meant that I could connect it to the bottom of the dishwasher, then feed the other end through the cabinet to the water source. You can see that it is a lot easier to simply turn the machine on its side and hook things up. From there, pull out the old plumbing under the sink and hook it up.

Total time to hook it up on the third try? 6 minutes, 43 seconds. I rock!

Total time to have someone drive by my house to haul away the old one? Just over an hour. Sweet!