SA Stock Show & Rodeo BBQ Cook-Off Report...

Some time ago, apparently my wife had joined this on-line radio station club sponsored by KJ-97, one of the local country stations here.The next thing you know, well, technically not really the next thing since it had been at least a year or so; we get a phone call from the station telling us to come pick up our prize! In fact, better than a fra-gee-lay leg lamp, these are tickets to the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo BBQ Cook-off out at Fiesta Texas.

Not even a day later, I get an e-mail from long time reader Rick, who has tried to get us to come taste his good BBQ in the past, and it turns out he and his brother Mark will be among the contestants at the BBQ Cook-off. Do we need any more encouragement? Not even!

We got to the entrance of Fiesta Texas and had no idea how huge this whole event really was. In fact, the Cowboy Breakfast I went to Friday morning was a mere coffee clutch compared to this shin-dig. Just getting in to park could have been an ordeal had most of the drivers not already been a bit lubed, if you know what I mean.You go from about four or five lanes all funneled into a single line without the benefit of a police officer or least a parking attendant to make people behave. Thankfully, Texans on a Saturday afternoon are generally good-natured folk, and we try to help one another by being courteous.Oh, I have to fast forward just a second to the end of our visit just to show you two things in the parking lot. First, there was this home made roll bar on some guys truck. That gave me a chuckle. I know, spend $25K on a truck then skimp on the roll bar by throwing together a few chunks of wood you found on the side of the road. I like it.The second thing was what we came out to after our time in the cook-off. Speaking of being courteous, a real Eagle Scout parked his truck over the line and so close to our little baby truck that I had to pull out just to let my wife get in. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but my wife insisted that I use the power of the Internet to remind people not to be assholes. Appreciate that.

So anyway, if you have never been to a serious BBQ cook-off like this one with hundreds of different teams, you will, like us probably be overwhelmed with the sight of all the different cooking rigs. People come complete with RV's and trailers full of perfect wood, huge grills and in some cases, entire buildings in order to make the event special.

It was evident that most teams have sponsors in order to offset the cost of the event (the meat is not free, the cost of the team space and of course, the incidentals such as spices, beer, sauces, beer, ice, beer, and... well, you get the point). It isn't cheap, but these folks seem to have lots of fun.

We made our way to "Those Two Guys", Rick and Mark, and you could just smell the goodness coming from their grill. We were just in time for the team to pull some ribs from the grill to present to the judges.

I have to tell you, I love me some ribs, and these were pretty special. Rick tells me that this was the first time he had used this particular seasoning mixture in a contest and he was sort of kicking himself over the whole thing. Turns out they normally use a habanero-pineapple concoction he made up several years ago (which they have been very successful with in cook-offs) but he opted to go with this new taste. The texture of the ribs was simply melt in your mouth good, and the taste was great. I was trying to be polite by sharing a rib with my wife and she gave me the look that said, "get you own, chump!"Turns out these two brothers have been cooking out for a long time but got started with the BBQ cook-off circuit about five years ago. They heard of a contest sponsored by 99.5 KISS and on the first outing took first place. Ya gotta like that. Rick said that later contests would not be as easy, but they continue to do well participating in about eight cook-offs a year.As we walked around the grounds, it is obvious that a lot of serious money goes into these events. I'm guessing that a good many of the teams are made up of catering companies or restaurants. In the case of Those Two Guys, Rick and Mark have been able to gather the support of sponsors who have seen them in action over the years. I chatted with folks from Grapevine Graphics, one of their sponsors, and it turns out one of the owners is an original Silver Creek resident. Rick's employer, APPCO is a big sponsor of the team and he tells me that Fiesta Spices and Browning Construction have been big supporters as well.

I suppose this is like NASCAR where you have to be able to have some up front cash to get into the game. But in spite of all the really spiffy looking BBQ rigs and special effects people had, Rick told me about a cook off in Helotes where a guy showed up in a pick-up truck with a 55-gallon grill in the bed. The man put some charcoal in the pit - still in the bed of the truck, cooked his meat and won first place - then simply drove away. So it isn't always about the big show; there has to be some good eats to back it up.And in case you are wondering - no question about it - my wife and I were both in full thumbs up mode on Those Two Guys. Tasty Treats, for sure!

Of course, there are so many more pictures to see. Why not check them out on the Flickr page?

Lunch Report: Red Robin at The Rim...

If they build a Red Robin even one or two miles closer to my house, I will weigh 350 pounds in about six months.

People, we have a situation here. Chilis may wish to restructure their finances, start washing cars or even fold all together. As light as I eat, I'm still good for at least 3 - 4 Chilis visits per month. This could create quite a situation for them.

So my wife had told me several times that she wanted me to go eat at Red Robin one of these days, and I always put things off. Today, there was no excuse as we were both hungry, were already over in the general area of 1604 and IH-10, and what the heck, I needed to get out of the rut of always eating Salad and Chili at Chilis everytime.

When we first walked in, it seemed pretty crowded for being almost 2PM, but then again, they are located directly outside of Fiesta Texas at the entrance of The Rim, so I imagine they are packed all the time. Not to worry, we were immediately seated and I was extremely pleased to see a huge staff of people and managers in action. When we sat down, I noticed a well stocked bar full of people and lots of imaging for the selection of beers and fufu drinks. I also noticed though that the crowd was almost exclusively families with kids, cranky from having been, no doubt forcibly ejected from Fiesta Texas.

As crowded as the place was, our waitress was to our table and taking drink orders immediately. My wife had a Raspberry Iced Tea, and I went with my standard unsweetened variety. Quite tasty and bottomless.

As we looked over the menu, I could not help but notice how the staff seemed to operate like a well tuned machine. Specifically, we noticed that not one person was standing around doing nothing at any time. If a waitress wasn't taking orders, she was helping prepare the sandwich baskets, getting drinks or taking out another table's food. I love to see a manager hit the floor and go table to table making sure people have been taken care of. The guy seemed genuine and not wanting to sit there and say something goofy. It was more like, "Have we taken care of you?" Yes you have. "Great. Thanks." And off he went to the next table.

I'm trying (not very successfully) to eat healthier these days, so I didn't order the huge stack of onion rings, but the presentation of the many orders that flew by our table was very cool. The onion rings were stacked largest to smallest, 13 high on a stand which made it look like a pine tree of rings. And they looked great.

The choices were many and the descriptions sounded all very inviting, but when we ordered, I had the 'Shroom Burger. According to the menu, it is "Loaded with fresh, plump, sautéed mushrooms, a hint of garlic Parmesan butter and topped with melted Swiss for that extra Mmmm. A mushroom lover’s dream come true." They were not kidding. The important thing to note is that this burger contained as much sauteed mushroom as it did beef. Awesome!

My wife went for the California Chicken Burger which, again, according to the menu is described as, "A tender, juicy charbroiled chicken breast topped with Monterey Jack cheese, zesty guacamole, hickory-smoked bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, pickles & mayo. This chic combination is beautiful & flavorful!" It looked great and my small sample was incredible.

We both ordered wheat bread which they didn't bat an eyelash at, and the honey mustard we got to dip our thick steak fries in was probably the best version I've tasted in a while.

Okay, so to my amazement, they had our burgers out to us in no time at all. I mean, the people at this place were moving. My glass of tea never made it below half-full and I suck down easily 4 to 5 glasses of tea in any restaurant I go to.

Oh, at the entrance to the ladies' they have an appetizing Costanza portrait, and the restrooms are equipped with TV's, so I'd imagine this place makes a good place to come in during an evening game - not the restroom, but the restaurant itself. They did have TV's everywhere, but it wasn't obnoxious to the point of being a sports bar with TV's taking up every inch of space.

When the bill came due, I will tell you that it isn't McDonald's. The burgers we ordered which by the way are easily enough for two people to share, were almost $9.00 a piece. But I'm here to tell you, they were worth every penny.

On my Tasty Treat Scale, Red Robin gets top marks. Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm! (Okay, maybe I need to create a little Icon that says "Tasty Treat").

Supper Report: Chili's: 1604 & Culebra

I apologize in advance that I forgot to take my camera to dinner, so I can't offer you a look at the vittles I ate.

We are pretty much regulars at this particular Chili's, and in general, when I get those little surveys where they ask you where you eat, I rate any Chili's as a standard for our dining out experiences. Usually very quick, always consistent in the food, and I'd say reasonable.

Okay, so I need to rethink my dining. Ever since I changed my diet for health reasons, I have found what I find comfortable at a particular place, then stick with it. For example, at Bill Miller's, I always get the Baked Potato and Salad combo. Oh sure, I love the other stuff - the chicken, the brisket and what have you, but I always get the same combo. It works for me.

So last night, we go into Chili's and our neighbor comes up and says howdy. I guess he and his wife were having a beer. I should say that Chili's is good for beer too, but I stopped buying it there. Anyway, after brief pleasantries, the hostess motioned for us to follow her and right away, I got the sense that she had bathed in some sort of Musk type perfume. WTF? You can ban smoking in a restaurant but they don't have laws against some little teenage girl drenching herself in recycled scents of the 70's?

So we sit down and our waitress comes and takes our drink order. Strictly unsweetened iced-tea for me, and my wife tried some sort of crazy lemonade combination. When she got it, she said it tasted sort of watered down. I suspect that what they served her was some mixture from the bar, and the only thing missing was three or four shots of good tequila or at least some rum.

Anyway, the girl takes my order and I go with my usual: House salad with Ranch and the Terlingua Chili. My wife spent twenty minutes thinking about the fajitas or whatever other stuff they have, but she finally gave in and had the house salad with Ranch, and the Broccoli with Cheese soup.

When I am in any restaurant, I spend 90 percent of the time looking at other people hoping to catch somebody doing something stupid. I realize this is very juvenile and probably points to some hidden disorder or expensive mental complex I have. Is mental complex even a thing that you have, or is it a place on South Presa?

The problem is, even if I found somebody doing something crazy, I didn't have my camera with me, and this was causing me to be very uncomfortable. So, I can only say that there were a few awkward looking grandparents with very young grandchildren. Either they were grandparents or, they waited until they were extremely fat, old and ugly to have kids, which is okay, I suppose. But imagine the torment of kids in school when you show up for a PTA meeting looking like that. Granted, everybody loves grandparents, even the kids who aren't really the grandchildren, so you can be as creepy looking as you want, and little kids just think that's how grandparents look.

Anyway, these grandparents had clearly just come back from either Sea World or Fiesta Texas, and they bore the evidence of not enough sunscreen. Being the gentleman, Grandpa had removed his hat and now, there was a clear outline of where his lobster-red face ended just above his eyes, and where his pasty-white forehead had been spared from any harmful affects of Global Warming. Egad. And the wife didn't look much better. Some people should just be issued Moo moos when they turn 35, and leave it at that.

Okay, so our dinner comes and I prepare myself for the salad I love so much and I place my steaming bowl of Terlingua Chili next to it and I am ready to go. Suddenly, the hostess comes to seat someone at a nearby table and the entire area is fogged in with this musky perfume that she is still wearing, and I suspect may have even hit the ladies room for another fifty-cents worth. I nearly choked, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from the salad.

And then I remembered that I didn't have my camera. I know this sounds weird, but how can you eat if you don't have a camera? Like I told my daughter when I gave her what is probably her 5th camera in as many years, "You cannot take too many pictures." I mean, especially these days with digital and the fact that you can go to HEB and for 23 cents a copy, print out only the pictures you want. Nobody ever lays on there deathbed and says to their surviving kids, "I took way too many pictures of my life, go throw them all away."

So now, it smells like Musk and I can't take a picture of my salad and my chili. But my tea was good. And when the girl came by to fill it up, my wife asked her if she could try a different beverage, being that the first attempt tasted like a combination of water and something the hostess might wear to the prom.

I have to tell you, I ate my salad in about three minutes. I love how they give you just enough Ranch dressing to cover everything, but not too much that you feel like you are bathing in it. Then, I turned onto the chili. They have this little dab of cheese in the center with a dollop of sour cream and some sort of diced tomatoes on top to give it the appearance of something you'd see on TV. Either way, I just mix it all up and eat it. But at some point, do you ever get the feeling that even though something is good, perhaps you've just done it one time too many? I think I'm going to have to take a break from the salad and chili combo for a while. I mean, I ate it all and it was all good, but I need to shake things up. I tried that Black Bean Burger once, and I confess, it was good and all, but if you are trying to eat healthy, you shouldn't have to slather on a quart of Mayonnaise to get it down. God, I love mayo. I could eat Mayonnaise on peanut butter. But I don't really like peanut butter all that much.

So my wife finishes her salad and starts in on this Broccoli and Cheese soup. In all fairness, there was broccoli in the soup - I could see it. But my wife said that it seemed like she was eating a bowl of nacho cheese. And it did look that way. I guess the presentation didn't work for her, so I took over. But then again, I like nacho cheese. It is especially good with Mayonnaise. And tiny pieces of broccoli if you can get it.

Okay, ever since we got this channel on TV called the Fine Living Channel, I don't watch it.

But one time, I was half-way between semi-consciousness and passed-out and the twitching of my thumb had caused the remote control to skip by the Gay Channel and onto this Fine Living channel. (Seriously, they have special TV channels for everybody). The next thing I know, I am watching some famous butler, a thin version of Sebastian Cabot or something, teaching junior waiters how to wait tables for an exclusive dinner.

Forgive me for taking a moment to ask this, but if it is fine living, why are they programming special shows for waiters? Are people making some outrageous tips that the IRS should know about?

Anyway, this waiter guy shows all the tricks of how to hold the plates, serve from the right, pick-up from the left, balance martinis on your nose and such. One thing he scolded his trainees was, never, ever remove a diner's plates from the table (unless they specifically ask you to). This is more than a good way to get a fork in the hand if somebody looks done, but isn't. I like to lick the bowl of chili clean myself, when I'm at home anyway. But the other reason is, you never want to make your guests feel rushed.

So, last night, I think our waitress was literally watching me from a crow's nest with night vision goggles waiting for me to eat the last piece of brown lettuce from my salad and as soon as my fork left the grip of my hand, she swooped by and snatched the salad bowl away. WTF? I know someone who needs to get UVerse.

Anyway, just as the hostess was coming to seat yet another group of people in our area, somebody, and I am happy to report it was no one at my booth, let loose with an audible ass-burp. Good times. But then it started to smell. And I don't mean maybe.

My wife looked at me and mouthed those all familiar words (with a squinched nose) "Did you fart?"

I don't know who it was, but for the first time in the evening, I wanted that hostess to hang around a little longer so we could get a sniff of her Musk perfume. Sweet mother of Larry, Curly and Moe, somebody was in need of a laxative.

With that, we paid our bill and left. But other than the farting and the stuff my wife didn't like about her dinner, it was all good.

How was your dinner? Tell me about it.