Mobile Phone Report: Why Chocolate Sucks...

Admittedly, I'm not a mobile phone power-user. I make a handful of calls per week, use my cell for long distance calls and generally, on our shared plan, my wife probably uses about 85 percent of the minutes we use together. So really, I shouldn't care about this. I should be happy to have a cell phone that rings when the call is for me, takes a picture when I don't have my regular camera with me, and lets me dial a number and make a call on those rare occasions I can't wait until I'm home to talk, right?And this is all the more reason that my LG Chocolate phone sucks. For crap sakes, I see people with phones nearly glued to their ears they use them so much. People sit there and type out novel-length text messages while driving down the road, and for some reason, their phones don't have lives of their own. But no, my phone, apparently disgruntled over my limited use of it, arbitrarily calls people within my contact list at will.Have you ever walked past a guy in HEB and heard his pocket whistling? That was probably me. With the phone in the closed position, it will make calls with nothing more than the friction caused by sitting in my pocket, and keep your minds out of the gutter - I'm not in the habit of any fancy-pants dialing.

I cannot count the number of times that I have been driving along in the car thinking that I was hearing voices in my head, calling my name. Hey, I'm prone to visions, you know; you never know if I could hear a voice giving me the correct lottery numbers or something. But so far, everytime I've heard the voices, it turns out to be someone in my pocket who my phone has called. The hell! If I wanted to talk to someone, I'd make the call - I don't need any assistance from LG. I wonder if these people are in cahoots with the cell company.Another thing I hate about this stupid phone is that on those occasions when I really do want to make a call, the buttons do not work. For example, if I click on the contacts list and attempt to scroll down the list, it will automatically scroll by itself and not stop. That's right. My list of contacts will scroll like credits in a continuous loop before my eyes, no matter how hard I try to stop it.

On the few occasions that I can get it to go to a specific contact number, I click on the send button, and it simply does nothing. In other words, the phone is useless unless I want to stare at my contact list scroll before my eyes over and over, or unless on the off-chance that I want to call someone and the phone happens to call the person I want to talk to by itself from my pocket.

Take my word for it. Skip the LG Chocolate.