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Saturday, November 13, 2010

Weekend Notes: Driving School and Other Action...

You might recall when I mentioned getting a ticket not long ago. I know some people are willing to just pay the fine and be done with it and others want to try to sit in front of their computer for 6 full hours and take the course online while simultaneously watching YouTube for half the day. Still others have a need to take their ticket dismissal course in the form of comedic relief. For me, I like my driver's safety the old fashioned way: from a guy who teaches on weekends to make a few extra bucks and understands that his job is to make the 6 hours go by as quick and painless as possible. For this, I recommend the Helotes Driving School. If we could trust those people to get our kids through the mandated driver's training, surely they could teach me to be a safer driver without risking public safety further.

Our instructor, a very qualified guy I'm sure, kept it light and only interjected a few political statements along the way. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this to him, but he doesn't always use the correct words and phrases to convey his points. One that really stuck out for me was when he was trying to say "by and large" came out as "far and between". I suppose somewhere along the way, he got "few and far between" confused with "by and large". There were several other instances where it was obvious what he was trying to say but different words showed up.

This reminded me of the time I was watching Judge Wapner and there was this guy trying to use big words to plead his case. He told Judge Wapner that on the date in question, it began raining really hard, in fact it was raining profusely. This was all fine but when the defendant in the case started interrupting, things got heated. As accusations flew back and forth, the first guy kept repeatedly telling Judge Wopner that "it was profusely outside." After stating that it was profusely outside several times, Judge Wapner finally pounded the gavel and asked the man, "What was profusely outside?", and the guy responded, "It was." I understand that the plaintiff in the case now teaches driver's ed on weekends.

So anyway, I would like to offer up to any readers in law enforcement that I have served my time and I'd like to thank you for not issuing me any more tickets for the next several years, please.
I don't want to alarm you but our garage is full of boxes. Holy crap, we have a lot of junk. I am told that moving is the perfect time to get rid of stuff but let's be honest; my wife will just buy new junk and I'll just continue to hoard scraps of paper, books I never find time to read and odd trinkets that stack up on my filing cabinets. On our new property, I wonder if I could just charge myself rent for one of those big storage containers.
Hey, have you seen the new Conan Show now that it is on TBS? We have been watching the first few minutes of Sarah Lucero and then switching over to Conan once his monologue starts. I can tell you in all honesty: Leno is dead to me, and while I have an appreciation for Letterman (now that Bush is out of office), I just find Coco to be much funnier.

Have you seen those signs that people - usually high school students - hold trying to get you to go look at a new sub-division or purchase pizza or try a new wing place? They usually find some majorette or an ROTC kid who can spin those signs around like a baton or a rifle just to get your attention. You have to admit, some of them are pretty good at it.
Just the other day, I saw this kid in front of Little Caesars on Culebra and he was going to town like it was a full concert performance. I was at the stoplight and the guy was really good. He took a break during the drum solo.

We went into SmashBurger this afternoon to grab a quick bite. The bacon cheese SmashBurger on multi-grain is pretty good, but the fries (when you finally get them) just don't do anything for me. And since we were done eating our burgers when they finally brought us our fries, they brought us another serving of fries for free. Like I say, the burgers are good. The fact that they have the gonads to serve up hamburger meat that is not fully charred is a bonus.

I know you are probably wondering: Yes, I'm going to start writing in a new blog. I'm working out some of the details right now but as time allows, the theme will be pretty much the same has here - pictures of the food we eat, pictures of goofy things we see, that sort of thing - but the added bonus of watching my wife try to become a farmer on a massive 1.6 acre spread. Hell, I'll be picking up the farmer's almanac just to keep up with her. I'll let you know more about it for those of you who would like to follow us in our move.

Of course, fingers are firmly crossed as we get through the critical steps of inspections - both on this house and the house we intend to buy - and closing.
I'd expect that we'll be able to find some entertaining imagery out there, you know like wild animals and such. Of course, you don't have to go far for that. Just the other day I was going through the drive-thru at Bill Miller's and I saw this friendly guy especially slobbery at the thought of perhaps a chopped-brisket sandwich or maybe a sip of his master's iced tea. Next stop: car wash.
What I'm not sure of is if our new location will afford us the opportunity to spot such fashion statements as demonstrated by the friendly lady who offers the Sunday paper at the intersection of 1604 and Culebra near Alamo Ranch. We can only hope.


Anonymous said...

Dave, most of us know that you only packed two of those boxes in your garage and Eva packed the rest!! ha ha ha!

Maureen said...

Hahaha! Lydia, I was actually looking for the "Like" button! Good one!

Dave said...

Ladies, important note: Do not believe everything my wife posts when she logs into Facebook on my account! I can assure you that I have been the one to carry all of the boxes she has packed downstairs and into the garage. And, while she has been playing on Farmville, I've been busily packing boxes without bothering to count them!

Go and tell that, Homeboy!


Okay, she has packed maybe 1 or 2 more than me.

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San Antonio, TX, United States
I love to observe the odd things happening around me as I go about my day. I especially like it when I can get a picture of people being themselves. Here, I attempt to report the various people and events I have encountered in my neighborhood, and my city. I'd also love to hear from you. Feel free to e-mail your experiences and photos of life in San Antonio.

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