Dave

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Friday, July 2, 2010

Raining on My Parade and Pedicures

First and foremost: Unfortunately, the massive amounts of rain we received today and the fairly tight window of opportunity to hold our annual Independence Day Parade Saturday the 3rd of July has caused it to be canceled. I know - everybody - surely had plans to attend and watch me ride in the first car as Grand Marshall. I guess now I will have to ride my scooter down the street a few times just so I can get the parade out of my system.

Okay, if you are easily grossed out or just about to eat dinner or something, you are excused and may stop reading now. I'm about to talk about my pedicure.
I know, as they say on the Internet, "This thread is useless without pictures" but seriously, it might cause the president to flip the hotly debated "Internet Kill Switch" if I were to show you just how bad my toenails are/were. Let's just suffice it to say that a few of my nails had fallen into disarray. I am required to keep socks on at all times so as not to scare small children.

Several weeks ago, my wife was having her nails done and she asked the guy if he would be willing to tackle some toenails that looked really rough. The man suggested she have me soak the footsies in vinegar for a 15 minutes a day for a week, then come in and he could work on them. I know this sounds crazy, but the vinegar followed by some alcohol (for my feet, not my stomach) seemed to really help.

Today was the big day and we went to have our feet done. The nice lady who did mine (bless her heart for not getting all creeped out) just went to town like it was no big deal. Long story short, my feet are still not presentable in public, but they feel good. Oh, and they throw in a below the knee massage which felt great!

So there you have it. I'm going back in a few weeks and I'm going to do it all over again. I can't believe I put it off all these years. Oh, and bonus - the lady went into great details to explain how they sanitize everything after every customer. It's a good thing because as queezy as I get about staying in an unsanitary hotel room (they are all unsanitary), you can just imagine having to dip my pretty toes into someone else's funk.

And before anyone asks: No, I did not have my toenails painted!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

..i think your are hiding your true identity...aka BIGFOOT...SASQUASH..hmmm..i knew those late night walks...lol...nena...ps..man are we sad about your parade..mando was getting all geared up to ride your scooter..heckfire..better then backfire..ole betsy isnt doing good..its needs some work..maybe next year...

Albatross said...

I'm sorry about your parade.

Dave said...

I'm sorry about your parade.

Not as sorry as I am for posting a picture of myself getting a pedicure.

But thanks.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

and you never lost a drop of your masculinity..ha

the word verification is punta.

Charlene said...

The very least you should have done was take a picture of your feet before and after!

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San Antonio, TX, United States
I love to observe the odd things happening around me as I go about my day. I especially like it when I can get a picture of people being themselves. Here, I attempt to report the various people and events I have encountered in my neighborhood, and my city. I'd also love to hear from you. Feel free to e-mail your experiences and photos of life in San Antonio.

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